4- November 7th

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There was an awful storm today, I knew in advance so last night I had shut down the shop and outside fully to prevent damage by the storm but now I didn't have much to do

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There was an awful storm today, I knew in advance so last night I had shut down the shop and outside fully to prevent damage by the storm but now I didn't have much to do.

In my living room, there was my favourite window, with the windowsill wide enough that I could sit on it.

So that's where I had been for the entirety of the day. It was only 3 pm but I felt ready for the day to end. I usually felt like this when my anxiety started to take over, thus why I liked to stay busy even if I was spending all my time alone. I never liked getting inside my head like this, just made me feel so empty.

I sat on my precious window seat with my cat, Beth. I had named her after the 'little women' character.

When I first moved onto the island with my grandma, that was the only book she owned. Luckily I fell in love with the book, and she would read it to me every night. I can't even count how many times we would have read it.

Beth was almost a perfect replica of the character 'Beth March', despite the fact she can't play piano.

Which I don't blame her for, as that is an unrealistic expectation.

Both Beth's were brown-haired, gentle, incredibly kind, and preferred to stay indoors. I had rescued her one day as I was walking home in my final year of high school, and we had been best friends ever since. At first, I dreamed about her being this awesome surfing outdoor type cat, and perhaps she would sit in the shop, allowing customers to pet her, but that's not what she wanted, she liked snuggling with me on our window, sit on top of the fridge, or under my bed.

In the beginning, I had pushed her to go explore outside, but then she would end up practically attached to my feet, wanting to go back inside. Where it was safe.

I used to feel safe in here too, but with the knowledge that someone could be watching me. Stalking me. Made me never feel safe. However, I was glad that Beth still felt safe.

It was the beginning of spring, and I was excited for summer to come. Part of me wished it was winter.

Very unusual for me I know.

I was worried that my whole stalker issue wouldn't just go away.

What if things got worse? Summer meant so much to me, I didn't want it to be hindered in any way. It was comedic how my priorities fell, saving my summer over my own safety, but I still didn't care I needed a perfect summer.

Where the air is warm, the water is still, the earth is green and life slows down for a little while.

I didn't want for things to get too dangerous, I didn't want to hide or cower away. It's easy to wish things didn't happen to you in life, but this was different. I did not deserve anything like this.

Before all this, I had felt like my anxiety was getting better, but not anymore. I was trying, I had been trying so hard, for so many years, but this was different. How could one not get major anxiety over this?

All the security systems that Reece's team had set up had been working fine, I received messages from the receptionist that I met when I went to the office, who I now know is named Rowan.

He would inform me that nothing unusual had occurred on the camera footage, which was nice of him to share.

I could feel myself getting even more tired but didn't move to my bedroom. Me and Beth were perfectly comfy just as we were sat. It made me smile, watching her sleep on my lap.

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