𝗢𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁
Yoon Jaehyuk, filled with all the regrets that accompanied his despair, is over with rekindling hope. Now, it's Jihoon's turn to fight for the justification of the day before today, which has also lost its meanin...
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Contain warning: Mentions of self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
[Victory]
-3rd Regret, Bang Yedam-
A week has passed since the New Year celebration, closing the old book and refreshing it with a different tale. The New Year always symbolizes purity, with everyone leaving behind conflicts to start anew in different chapters of their lives. Although I couldn't suppress what I witnessed at the very moment of the year's transition.
January returns.
No, January doesn't return; it is recreated. January is never the same each year. Not a single day repeats itself in any way. If time could reverse, perhaps I would try to overcome my own ego and save Yoon Jaehyuk. If only I had known that in the end, I would still be unhappy, I wouldn't have chosen to be a villain like this.
A little story about Jaehyuk - in parallel rankings, he is my rival. Sometimes he's below me, and sometimes he's above. I thought, being a smart student, his ambitions would match mine. But that's not the case. Yoon Jaehyuk hardly ever harbors ambitions within himself. He refuses to enter the advanced class - even though it's incredibly difficult to get in, I studied relentlessly to qualify.
I used to hate Yoon Jaehyuk. Because he seemed not to care much about grades, but he excelled in many things. He could still socialize, relax, and wasn't a bookworm. As if he was born smart.
Even though I considered him a rival, Jaehyuk never saw me as a challenge. And I grew to hate him more because of that. I felt like I was fighting alone but still losing. Even if I ranked above him, I always felt defeated by Jaehyuk because he never cared about it. He wasn't as frustrated as I was.
He always looked free. Doing whatever he wanted, laughing after he could, and never thinking twice about helping others. He did many things that I couldn't because I was too focused on maintaining my ranking. As long as he's alive, Yoon Jaehyuk will win, no matter how hard I try to compete with him.
Because he's happy with his life, while I am not.
Perhaps due to my envy, unconsciously, I always watched Jaehyuk. I could even remember every act and behavior he exhibited. When he felt sad, he would eat a lot until his cheeks puffed up. When he was happy, he would write a series of words on paper and scatter them around. When he held back anger, he clenched his hands tightly. When he was disappointed, in pain, touched, or even in love, I witnessed it all.
Yoon Jaehyuk always comes to the library with Saera a few days before the new year. He teaches Saera various perspectives, his eyes sparkling as he explains things to her. Behind the neatly arranged papers, Jaehyuk often whispers stories that I unintentionally eavesdrop on while also being in the library.
"Red blood cells and white blood cells are in a ratio of one to a thousand. It takes a thousand red blood cells to complete one white blood cell," Jaehyuk says, leaning on a shelf and looking at Saera.
