freak you man [REAMKE OF I DESERVE TO BLEED]

Chapter 1

    Takemichi lay lifeless on his floor feeling every emotion but happiness. Feeling lonely, sadness, pain, anger. His playlist filled the closed room, putting him into a trance that he couldn't get out of. The song Genesis by Grimes played in the moment it made him wanna scream. Previously he was just screaming his lungs out, punching the walls till his knuckles bled, throwing everything that made him out. Takemichi was tired but he couldn't sleep even if he did he would be tormented by the night he wanted to forget.

    He felt disconnected from the world, he didn't feel real, and his vision was like he was in first person. Soon the song turned to Jealous by Eyedress. Takemichi did feel jealous, jealous of the people that didn't have to experience getting raped, jealous of the people that could take a shower without scrubbing their skin till their skin began to peel from the roughness.

  Soon his phone began to ding looking at it he saw serval messages from his girlfriends. There were about 100 messages from only her asking if he was okay. Takemichi was afraid to answer them, afraid to say the words that he dreaded. Was he okay? No, he wasn't, he was far from it.

  He texted back the words he wanted so badly.

"come over please"

   Sooner than he expected Hina was knocking on his door with bags in her hands. Opening the door she saw how badly takemichi looked. Eye bags that looked like craters, messy hair that looked like it hadn't been done for about a month, and clothes barely fitting his body right. He was truly a mess. Dropping her bags immediately she brought him into her arms cradling him. Takemichi began to cry his eyes out as Hina sh him letting him cry.

"It's okay love... it's okay" 

   Hina brought him into the house going into his room that she was familiar with. Laying on the bed she big spooned him for comfort knowing he liked it. Tangling their legs together, takemichi sobbed as Hina whispered sweet things in his ears letting him cry. She didn't want to pry, forcing him to talk. When he wanted to talk she would gladly be there to listen till then she was gonna let him cry till he felt better.

    

   Sonna takemichi was asleep so she got up and began to clean the place seeing how messy it was. She took the dishes to the kitchen and washed them dishes calmly as she saw many holes everywhere in the apartment. Hina slightly jumped when felt a cold pair of hands wrapped around her hip dips. "Oh Takemichi, good morning sleepy head," hina said as takemichi hummed to her putting his head on her shoulder being slightly taller than her.

"I'm hungry darling," Takemichi says as he digs his head into her neck making Hina giggle. Reaching her hand into his hair she ruffed it a little before turning to face him. "first go take a shower then I'll fix you something to eat." Hina said lifting his chin to face her soft features.

   Honestly, takemichi has taken many baths ten times a day because he still felt dirty...still felt disgusting from that night. He was insanely cold and pale only being in his house for the past five days, he hadn't gotten any type of sun or warmth. 

   Takemichi didn't want to get in the shower cause if he did he would scrub the crap out of his skin and if he did that then he would eventually start bleeding, and if that happens he would wanna cut. He didn't want any of that to happen while Hina was here...that was for later. So he just pretends to letting the shower run for about ten minutes or so. Wetting his hair a little so it'll look like he just got out.

   Getting dressed in other clothes he wrapped his arms with bandages like he normally would. To other people it was normal he was always hurting himself from trouble. But this time it was different instead of scars there were newly done cuts that still stung like a bee.  

    Going back to the kitchen to see Hina plating food that looked to be grilled sandwiches he sat down. Hina smiled at him kissing him as she sat down as well "Thank you, Mon Cheri" Takemichi said smirking at Hina knowing that she liked when he used other languages. Hina blushed slightly "no problem love" then they began eating soundly.

okat that's all yall wow its getting hard out here

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