Yearning to Live

Prep

We arrived at Belmont a week after the Preakness. Wild Survivor and White Shadow were settling well. Natasha came with me to the white washed walls, and sanitary freak doctor's office of Rachel. I remember Rachel as being this lively never ending ball of energy, laughter, and fun. She has definitely grown up, we all have. We waited in the examination room, they call it, for Rachel to appear.

We pulled up into Belmont and parked the car. I swung out of it on my crutches and Natasha hopped out and walked over to me. She helped me to the barn, where I heard two colts nicker to each other. I shook my head and Natasha laughed. We continued to walk down the isle, until we approached two stalls and brought out the horses and tacked them up. We led them out to the sandy track and mounted. Natasha took White Shadow to the rail, I walked Survivor alongside him. together, the two had a brilliant morning workout. Next week, the horses would be in top condition for their race.

I was in Joey's room for physical therapy. I tried walking with the parallel bars. She encouraged me, but I didn't feel her energy. I had been more depressed, and anxious. Last time.e I raced on Belmont, I came off in a stretcher and was never the same person. I took a couple wobbly steps, heavily supported by the metal bars. I could tell that my bad energy was contagious, Joey soon sat silent as I attempted a feeble couple of steps. " Ugh! Why is it so hard to walk? I wish I had never-" " Stop! I get your down in the dumps! I'm trying to help you. But when you have a sour attitude all the time, it makes my job more difficult! Maybe if you tried harder, it would be easier!" " I have been trying hard! It's not easy to handle mild depression, crutches for a long time, a job, and try to have a positive attitude!" The room went silent. The race was still five days off. I've been hearing the news and odds for the Belmont Stakes. And I've had double the amount of physical therapy than before. It makes me feel like the race is on a couple of hours. And the pressure is starting to crack me. I tried to walk again.