𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍 , mike schmidt

prologue.

-

" It's just not working out anymore. It's not the same." the brunette male stated, as his eyes were wandering anywhere but mine. It was hard for me to stomach the severity of his words and what this meant. I guess I should've figured this was coming - since it was the second time it had happened. 

" You always do this to me. You come back and then leave. I just don't understand. " I whisper, feeling my eyes water. This was a scene I had been in far too many times. Carter had never wanted to officially make me his girlfriend, so I had lived in this perpetual situationship for almost a year. 

"I'm sorry. I just don't see it going anywhere. I tried my best to see a future with us, but it's just not there. " Carter responded, digging his hands into his pocket. 

What I thought was  going to be a date night with my favorite glass of cabernet and man turned into a break-up within 2 minutes of his arrival. It shouldn't matter, right? I lived in New York City, there were thousands if not millions of more men on the streets that would give me an actual title and not run away every three months. 

"I just don't understand how you can keep hurting someone and then coming back. "

" I don't either, I mean it when I say I'm sorry. I just can't love you the way that you want me to."

Ouch. He knew that I loved him, but he couldn't love me the same way. That sentence almost took the wind out of me as I sat down on my couch and buried my hands into my face. I could hear his breaths and the shuffling of his feet as he came and sat next to me. 

"Don't. " I whispered, as I felt hand cup my knee. 

He quickly removed his hand and stood up from the couch.

"I have to go now. I'm sorry, Miles." he said, as I watched him put on his coat and make his way out my door. 

I knew I had to respect myself this time and not run after him. Running after him once was embarrassing enough, but when I did it twice and begged him to stay - well let's just say my self respect had been drained to 0%.

-

A month had passed since my situationship "break-up" with Carter and I hadn't heard a word from him - just subtle instagram story watching. 

"You ready?"

I turned around and saw my dad standing in the doorway as he held the last box of my things. I nodded at him as I took one last glance at the apartment that I had stayed for the past year and sighed as I closed the door for the last time.

The past month had been a whirlwind in every genre of my life. My job as an event planner in New York had slowly fallen apart, and my parents swooped in and convinced me to come back home to Utah and basically take over running the wine bar my parents had built from the ground up. 

Here goes nothing.