𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍 , mike schmidt

22. baggage

It had been a few days since I had seen Mike. He told me he wasn't feeling well and was stuck in bed. I even offered to stop by, but he didn't want me to come because he thought I'd get sick.

Finally, he said he was feeling better and we had a plan to get dinner later that day. I was beyond excited, it had been too long since I had felt his warm body hugging me.

My phone began to buzz as I glanced down and saw a text from Mike.

Hey, I'm here. Can you talk?

He was four hours early. My mind began to run. Did something happen? Was he okay? Was Abby okay?

I ran down my stairs and opened my door to see him standing on the doorstep. He had his hands dug into his jeans and his eyes were instantly staring into mine. I could tell something was wrong, but I wasn't quite sure what it could be.

"Come in." I said, holding the door open for him as he gingerly stepped inside. 

I lead him into the living room as I sat on the couch and studied his body language. He looked defeated and almost scared. Was this about what had happened at his job the other day?

"What's going on?" I asked, reaching over to touch his hand. 

Mike let out a sigh and finally connected his eyes with mine again.

"Miles, I-I really don't want to do this. But, I need you to listen."

My stomach dropped in that moment. I was taken back to my apartment months ago in New York when Carter had randomly decided to end things with me. But, I had to shake myself out of it and realize that I was in the same exact situation - just a different boy.

I was silent.

"There's a lot going on with me. With work...with myself...and I really just can't drag you into this."

I stayed silent.

"I need to end this between us. I just can't have you caught up in this. You're too good for all of this."

All the butterflies that had been in my stomach whenever he was around were gone. I could feel a single tear fall from my cheek as I avoided looking at him. He was the one boy I didn't think would leave. I felt so secure and safe with him. I was sure I had met my match and the days of being heartbroken were over. Wrong. He was just like Carter and all the other heartbreakers before him. He wasn't different. He was just a boy.

"I can't believe you're really doing this."

"I don't want to Miles. But, it's selfish of me to stay and drag you through this."

"I love you, so you know I'd stay through anything."

"But I don't want you to. I want you to be with someone who isn't going to have the baggage that I have. That's what you deserve."

Another tear fell down my cheek as I finally looked up and saw the hurt on Mike's face. I didn't understand why he was doing this if he looked so in pain. If it hurt so bad, why do it? 

"You're the only one that I want." I say, wiping away the tear.

"For now that may be true. But, you're going to be okay Miles. I know you will."

I watched him as he stood up from the couch. I couldn't believe he was the same person who had told me he loved me just a few weeks ago. 

"Do you not love me anymore?"

"I do love you, but I just can't do this." Mike said, as he held my hand for a second and let it go. 

Before I could think of any words to say next, he was already out the door. 

Somehow, Mike managed to put me back together after the tragedy that was Carter. He made me feel loved and special. He picked me up from the ground and made me feel brand new. But then, he also managed to hurt me like no one did before. And that is something that I won't be able to forget.

* hi allll, it's been over a month but i'm back! this is the last chapter of cardigan - but there is going to be a second book that i'm working on right now, so look for that! the second book will be called "the greatest". :)