The Tales of the Golden Girl

Irene Adler is a Bitch

Sam's pov

"Noise control much!?" We both reply in unison. We are like mind readers. Sherlock loved this, surprisingly.

"I'll make some tea. Then we can go out to Speedy's. Any new cases, Sherlock?" I ask while stretching my hands.

"Yeah, I have to go to the Embassy today. Will you come? John's busy with his hospital work. I would like to tease Mycroft." Watson shot an eye at Sherlock.

"Sure, if it's possible." I hesitate, hearing another dreaded name.

Mycroft Holmes. That bald bastard.

We both wear neutral, depressing colors. I love dark blue and grey the most. I wear a short dress with a blazer on. Sherlock wears his normal coat and beautiful hair.

As we take the car to the office, my hands fidget with my phone. Sherlock glances at my nervousness.

"Don't worry, best Mycroft can do is take you to his house." He utters and touches my cheeks. Butterflies!

"Ew, bald pervert bastard. We're here."

As we sit on the couches, I cough. Lavender scent. I don't like it. "What are doing here? Here to see the queen?" I say.

"Apparently." Sherlock replies, causing both of us to laugh as Mycroft walks in and sits.

"Why did you bring her!?" Mycroft slams the table.

"Chill dude, the table's stronger than your status. And I'm trying to change, unlike your dirt-filled brain." I take the teacup.

"Brother, she is an asset. We're way ahead on the Morairty case. What about the new case you wanted to give me?" Sherlock? Defending me? Impossible.

"Fine. I'll let her work. Only on one condition. She has to have a tracker on her. Here's the file." Mycroft throws the file and I catch it, my teacup in the other hand.

"Chill you crybaby. Even my cousin's better than you. She has manners. You read, I'll drink the tea." I stroke Sherlock's hair.

"Irene Adler, heard of her. What does she want? Money, status, connections?" Sherlock continues.

"Protection." Mycroft replies as I snatch the file. "She's the most influential woman. She can protect herself."

"Her life's in danger, Sam." Mycroft stresses on my name. Rude.

"You go, I'll wait here and fix terms up with your brother." I point to the door.

Sherlock's pov

Great, my brother and his nemesis in a room. Hallelujah.

As I make my way to Irene's house, I think about how Sam just has a place in my mind to pop up in the worst situations.

I reach Irene's house and ring the bell. A voice answers, "Who's this, name please?"

"Sherlock Holmes."

"Just a second."

The door creaks open and I come in, establishing my dominance. The lady goes upstairs to call Irene. Short, petite and engaged. I saw the ring.

I sit down on the nearest couch and hear some commotion. I finally see her, naked to the core.

I try not to be a pervert like my brother. I ignore her like all my boring clients. She makes several moves on me, even commenting on my cheekbones. I was uncomfortable the whole time, and she liked it.

"Mrs. Irene Adler, what do you need protection for?" I straightened my posture.

"There's a thousand men trying to kill me. Maybe you could help." She strokes my hand and stands up abruptly.

"Wear a coat, please." I offer my coat, Sam's face flowing through my thoughts, limiting my ability to think rationally.

"I see you're of potential, Mr. Holmes. I want to show you my room. Do come." Irene walks as I follow her.

We reach into her room, spacious but messy. I wanted to laugh at her room but controlled myself. She walks up to me, and jabs an injection on my hand.

"What the?" I try to stand, but my legs feel heavy, my whole body feels heavy.

She takes her riding crop and hits me with it. Such incredible precision. "You'll know me, Sherlock. The woman who beat you." She slides her riding crop through my face, my vision blurring.

I hear the doorbell ringing, and Irene rushing to the door. I hear some commotion, but it's too late. My eyes close, drifting away.

Sam's pov

I rang the doorbell but I answer. Weird. As I say that, the door swings open with a woman with black hair and a riding crop. So this is Irene Adler.

"Hello, I'm here to pick up Sherlock Holmes. He was last seen entering here." I enter the house, not caring about her concern.

"He's not available. May I help you? Some biscuits, maybe?" Irene's mocking me.

"Nah, why isn't he available, Irene? You did something? He is handsome." Irene pulls out her gun. "Samantha Rodriguez. Finally met you. You look very different. More different when i fill your head with lead."

"Thanks, I look better than you. Anyway, I already have your gun. Why you holding a cucumber?" I hold her gun in my hands. "How...." She tries to question me but I kick her in the stomach.

"Questioning your existence eh?" I remove my gun. "Say hello to my little friend." I go on a shooting spree, not giving a fuck about her crockery.

As my bullets end, I feel a stab at my back. "Having fun? Let's end it." I fall on my knees. She makes kicks on my face and back, smashing her foot onto my stab wound. She's wearing heels, great.

As I lose consciousness for a second, Irene turns me on my back, a smirk forming on my face. "What a foul mouth. I'll have fun decimating it." I kick my legs to stand up. I remove my shirt which reveals a bulletproof vest. As she looks for her gun, I headbutt her.

I stretch and my bones pop. Irene Adler's lying down. I decide to to shove her into a closet. I button my shirt up and explore her house. It's so big, but it's better with bullets everywhere. I run upstairs, my gun at the ready. I see an opened room and kick the door open.

Sherlock's lying there, unconscious. I check his pulse. He's alive, but he got a good beating.

Bruises, bruises, bruises...

I pick him up effortlessly, he exhales, creating a weird feeling for me.

I hail a taxi. The driver asks about Sherlock's situation.

"Miss, what's happened to the gentleman?"

"He had a drink too many. 221B Baker Street, please."

He speeds his car through traffic, Sherlock's head hitting the car seat. "Is he okay ma'am?" The driver asks with genuine concern. "Yes, please focus on driving, worst thing can happen is an accident."

We reach Baker Street and the brakes hiss. I open the door, and throw Sherlock on the ground. "Here's the money. Have a good day." I give the money and open the door, carrying Sherlock. Mrs. Hudson screams. "It's okay. He's knocked out. He'll wake up. Please open the door." I walk upstairs, Mrs Hudson opening the door. I drop Sherlock on his bed, sitting in the living room.

His phone rings. It's Mycroft.

I pick it up and tell Mycroft to come in the morning.

"Ok. How's Sherlock?" He asks.

"Best I can say is knocked out. I'll explain later."

Author's note

Hey guys! I hope this longggg chapter is good. Please express your views on these chapters.