Temporary Bliss

Chapter 16 *edited*

I walked towards the building with my hands clenched nervously at my sides, wiping my sweaty palms on my dark colored jeans every few seconds. I stopped half way through the parking lot, staring up at the old building that was slowly falling apart, remembering the first time I walked in to do the interview.

I've been doing this each time I walked in to go to work. I barely spoke to the boys now and I wasn't as open with them as I used to be. Now I was just quiet and often kept to myself. The normal day at work was walk in, greet each other, go to work, little and barely there conversations with the boys, go home, and cook dinner.

Ted won't let me hangout with the boys anymore and refuses to tell me why, but sometimes I meet up with Toast behind Ted's back and ask him how everything's going. I haven't really spoken to Ghost since I've moved out. We've been distant with each other.

"Hey." I greeted in a whisper as I walked in, playing with my sleeves. I had a bad headache due to Ted smacking me so it hurt to talk loud or be in the lights. I spotted Ghost who sat on the sofa with Toast watching whatever was on on tv. Ghost looked up at me and gave me a nod. Sixx came trotting over and rubbed against my jeans.

Toast got up to greet me with a hug but due to the raising of his strong arms, I flinched, fearing he was going to hurt me. Toast stared at me with wide eyes, the realization hitting him hard.

He let his arms fall back down at his sides as he looked at me with sad eyes. I quickly walked off to the supply room where all the gear was stored to avoid the conversation. Panic in me broke out, causing me to feel nauseous and sweaty, but I couldn't change out of the turtle neck I was wearing.

I wanted to cry but I couldn't due to the large amount of makeup covering my face. If I cried it would remove it all, revealing the bruises from unnecessary beatings and swollen red eyes from crying myself to sleep. I hated the feeling of all the makeup. Heavy and greasy. Toast came into the small room and leaned against the door way.

"I have some shirts I don't need, do you want them? Maybe try them on to see if they fit?" He asked me as he leaned against the doorway, but I knew what he was doing. I would've accepted right away without hesitation but I couldn't. I didn't look at him as I answered.

"No thank you. Ted wouldn't like that." I whispered. I grabbed the gear and was about to walk out until Toast put a hand out in front of me, making me flinch once again.

"How long has this been going on for?" He asked me in a soft comforting tone. I couldn't bring myself to look at him in the eyes. I stared at the floor, thinking of a lie or a way to cover it up.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said sternly. He Slowly walked over but I didn't think of it as just that, I thought of it as he was ready to hurt me, walking closer to yell at me; grab me by the throat to make me look at him in the eyes. I quickly backed away from the tall Brit, breathing heavily. Realizing what I did, I knew I couldn't hide it. I started crying. I dropped everything I was holding by my sides.

The tears were filled with so much anger, sadness, and fear. Fear for Ghost's life. Toast knows and now Ghost might be in danger. I was angry because I let myself give in, I led myself into the trap. I was the one to blame and now his life is in danger.

I got to find a way for him to not tell Ghost and or maybe convince him to forget about it all. Toast pulled me into a hug but I screamed and flew backwards in hysteria, cornering myself in the dimly lit room on my knees. Toast looked lost and unsure of what to do. Suddenly Deumos switched through me without warning, causing me to instantly stop crying.

I (she) looked up at Toast and stood up shakily. Toast stared in confusing until he noticed the roots of my hair going blonde, then he understood what was happening. Once I stood up, I ripped off the turtle neck, revealing every single bruise. Toast was confused yet again.