The Boys: Ástocho

Episode 1

"The Seven's Queen Maeve and Homelander make another heroic save the day again, stopping a hijacked armoured truck in the streets of Brooklyn . . . . " Seems like supes are saving the day. Again. God, I wish I could be like them someday, saving people from danger, having superpowers, being famous as fuck.

. . . .Is what I would say, if I actually cared about people. I don't have time for that shit, rather go home and play my games, sleep all day, and fuck some bitches, but here I am, working at an electronic store, with my annoying ass coworker, Hughey Campbell.

"Hey, Jason, could I talk to you for a minute? Like for--"

"Later, man, I'm busy."

". . . . You've been staring at the clock for the past two hours though."

"Dude, just let me be, I just wanna go home man, I've been in a bad mood all day, and I really don't want to release all my negativity by putting you to sleep with my fist."

". . . Okay, I'll just, go over there"

This dude is really annoying, he's always happy for some reason, 'cuz I know for a fact that someone isn't this enthusiastic while getting paid minimum wage, dude probably jacks off to--.

DING

"Excuse me, sir, I'd like to make an appointment for you to lay some cable in my apartment"

Nevermind, dude has a lady, my bad. Also, did this lady just say 'lay some cable'? She wants him to take a deuce on her? Kinky.

"Oh, hey, Robin, oh dear dear robin, uh, I don't think you know what that means."

"Uh, laying cable means sex."

"Uhh, no, it actually means to take a shit. You just told him to take a shit in your apartment."

". . . Oh, also hi, I didn't see you there, uh--"

Of course you didn't.

"I'm Jason, his co-worker."

"Uh- mind if I borrow him for a bit?"

"Please, take him, I don't care."

"Wow, okay- uh, I'm just gonna take a break then, can you handle this by you-"

"Bro, fuck off."

"Okay, uh, I'll come back."

"Go."

And he's gone. Finally. Now I just have to wait until--.

"Hey, Jason, I need you to come check some new items, I don't know how they work."

I spoke too soon. That's Gary, our manager for some reason. Dude doesn't even know how most of the shit in this store work. How did he get this job? Let alone be a manager. Damn it, I lost focus.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there."

"Thanks, also where's Hughey?"

"He took a break, went to get lunch with some lady."

"Oh, Robin? Heh, sure is a lucky guy huh?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, since he's taking a break, someone
called, they said they wanted some help setting some cable in their apartment, and since Hughey isn't here, you're gonna have to be the one to set it up."

Fuck. Me. Hughey, I hope you have a bad day.

------------------ Time Skip------------------

Finally, home sweet home, time to microwave some hot pockets, drink some mountain dew, and say some slurs to children in Modern Warfare.