Golden Bug

CHPT 4: B*tch Mommy

Chapter 4
    
    Am I having hallucinations? Nakikita ko ba talaga ang mukha ni Percy ngayon. He is looking at me piercing at pakiramdam ko may sumasakal sa aking leeg. Bigla akong nahirapang huminga and I just looked around me and people were applauding. Nanghihina ako na pinilit ko na lamang makarating sa glass door ng board room upang makalabas ng tuluyan. Nakikita ko pa rin si Percy. Kita ko pa rin ang mukha niya from the other side of the room. Patay na si Percy. Wala na siya. Pero bakit hanggang ngayon, hawak niya pa rin ang buhay ko? Ang buhay na inangkin niya na wala manlang akong kalaban laban.

  3 Years Ago
    "What do you think? I just made some adjustments with the bedroom since I want to have a bigger bed for the two of us. And then I pitched some ideas to the interior designer and this was the result. It looks more like home than when you first brought me here, right?"

   Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko pa ba hinayaan na makipagkita ulit kay Percy Zabringa. Alam kong hindi ako pwedeng tumanggi dahil siya ang pinakamalaking kliyente ko and he will certainly make me the top agent for the rest of the year because of his purchase of this big house.

  "Yes, it definitely looked more beautiful now than it was before. I don't really have knowledge with designs but this really suits your personality. The black accents and the greys in some of the materials here makes it look like I live in someone who is controlling things."

  He suddenly grabbed me by my arms at pinaharap niya ako. He has this annoyed look and I just stared at him calmly.
  
"Are you saying that I am controlling? That I'm a freak because I like these colors?"
  
Hindi ako sumagot sa kanya. I just looked away and I tried to be polite as much as possible.
  
"Mr. Zabringa, I am just your agent and I am telling you my honest opinion. Do you want me to lie just so you can keep me locked in your hands?"
 
"May I remind you again, that this big house that I bought was handled by you. And you are responsible for making me feel this way, Jansen. Alam ko ang galawan ng mga katulad mo. You think I can't ruin your life if you ever make a mistake of staying away from me? Oh no! I will make sure that everyone that surrounds you knows who I am and what I'm capable of!"

   Hindi ako sumagot. Alam ko naman na simula pa lang meron ng saltik sa ulo ang taong kasama ko sa bahay nato ngayon.

  "At anong gagawin mo? Gugulihin mo ang buhay ng pamilya ko? Sisirain mo ang career ko? You will tie me up like a zoo animal? I don't even know you and you will act like you already own me?"

  Ngumiti siya at hinaplos ang aking pisngin. Tinitigan niya ako sa aking mga mata and he attempted to kiss me on my lips pero lumayo ako.
  
"Jansen Pisanto, you don't have any idea how men and women will kill just to get a hold of this hands. For them to be kissed by these lips. And to be fucked so hard by this big dick. And here I am, offering you everything. I am even planning to marry you eventually. And yet, nagagawa mo pa akong tanggihan? You amuse me, Jansen."

   Tinapik niya ang aking pisngi ng mahina at umalis sa living room ng malaking bahay. Naiwan akong nanginginig. Dahil siguro sa takot? Dahil hindi ako makapaniwala na isang napakayamang tao ay nagkaroon ng kakaibang pagnanasa sa isang tulad ko. Hindi ko alam king ano ang gagawin ko sa mga sandaling to. Gusto ko maglaho nalang na parang bula. Pero wala akong magagawa sa puntong ito, hawak na niya ako sa leeg. Kapag nagpumiglas ako, ako ang unang mawawala.
 
Present Day
     "Like I said, Sahin will be a great leader in the future. Anak ko siya, David. You know how I lead and bring out the best in each of my employees, I'm sure that he can do it too."
  
Nakikinig ako kay Miss Diana at Mr. David, siya ang OIC ng position na iniwan ni Percy ng mamatay siya.

  "I know he is your son. But can't you just give this position to someone who knows the company well? I don't think that just because he is your son, kaya na niyang maging katulad mo? Percy was not that good at his job. But Jansen, he was behind your son's success."

    Napatingin si Miss Diana sa akin and I know from that instance, she is throwing daggers at me.
  
"Jansen was Percy's husband. So naturally, he will support his husband through and through. Kaya nga nandito pa rin si Jansen because I think that Sahin needs his guidance. And he is already a Zabringa. Dala na niya ang aming apilyedo. What can he ask for more?"
  
"I'm just asserting that Jansen will definitely make a better COO for this company. I don't do the decisions anyway, so I will rest my case and take my leave."
   
Tumayo si Mr. David sa upuan niya while I stood up and bowed down in sign of respect. Tiningnan niya ako ng walang emosyon at umalis na ng tuluyan sa opisina ni Miss Diana.
  
  "Did you honestly think that jist because Percy died, you will take his place over? Mukhang nakakalimutan mo na ang lugar mo, Jansen. You are at my mercy dahil baliw na baliw ang anak ko sayo. And I can't do anything about it. But now that he's gone---"
  
  "Now he's gone so you have no reason to keep me. Ano pa bang kailangan mo sakin, Miss Diana? You know from the start, I don't even want to be a part of your family. I don't want to be married to Percy. You know how abusive he was towards me. Don't you think I deserve to at least cut my ties with your family and live my life in peace?"
 
  Napatawa si Miss Diana ng malakas habang pumapalakpak. Umiiling-iling pa siya at sumagot sa akin.
   
"You are a great actor, Jansen. You always think that you are a victim. You always play this innocent person who just got caught up in my son's obssesion. You really think makakawala ka pa sa kamay ng isang Zabringa? When my son died, where were you? Oh! I remember... You were partying like crazy with your "so called friends". You can't wait for my son to die so much that you had an early celebratory party, right?"

   Alam kong sa mga oras na yun namumula na ako sa galit pero pinipilit ko pa ring maging mahinahon. Kahit saang anggulo tingnan, ako pa rin ang magiging masama sa paningin ng lahat. Ganun na nga siguro kapait ang kapalaran ko.
 
  "Tandaan mo 'to, Jansen. As long as I am breathing and I am in control of everything, hinding hindi ka makakawala sa aking kamay. You took my son away from me, I will take your freedom. That's fair enough right? Now go back to your office and make Sahin the best fucking CEO this company will ever have!"

   At umalis na ako sa opisina niya. Blanko ang isip ko. Lumulutang ako habang naglalakad. I don't know what to do with my life. Pero dahil sa sinabi ni Miss Diana, may naramdaman akong galit. Isang galit na gusto kong mas lalong lumaki. Galit na palagi kong pinipigilan dahil sa takot.
 
  Nakita ko ulit si Percy sa dulo ng hallway. Duguan ang mukha niya pero siya pa rin ang nakikita ko. Ang mukha niya. Ang ngiti niyang nagbibigay lang sakin ng takot at pangamba. Ang kanyang suot na itim na button up at pulang neck tie. Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin upang makalaya sa impyernong ginawa sa akin ni Percy.
  
"Makikita mo Percy, kahit nasa impyerno ka na, sisiguruhin kong babagsak ang pamilya mo. Lahat ng pinaghirapan niyo, ibabaon ko pababa sa impyerno kasama mo."