Amelia

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She was named Amelia after the famed aviatrix who disappeared in the summer of 1937. The child was born that fall to Winnie and Max Brown. Amelia Winnifred Brown – a six-pound seven-ounce bouncing bundle of screaming baby joy.

It really is traumatic to be forced from that nice dark watery womb and slip and slide headfirst down that birth canal, only to be slapped unceremoniously on the behind, and expected to gulp your first breaths of oxygen like a drowning carp.

Not to mention the cold metal birthing table where they rub you down like a horse who ran the mile and shaved off one second from his best time. The infant Amelia had put up a queenly fuss at birth, but luckily, that trauma had been flushed from her memory and forgotten after her first fledgling attempts at feeding from her mother's breast.