fake it till you make it | purinz

0.7

The next morning, Chaewon has an early dance practice with Sakura and, in a rare turn of events, Yunjin is one of the last girls still asleep at the dorm. When Chaewon returns, Yunjin is in the exact same position she left her, blankets bunched around her form so that only her relaxed face and drooped-open mouth are visible.

Chaewon decides to leave her that way and pours herself a bowl of cereal, munching thoughtfully as she stands in the tranquility of the kitchen. She's not even half done with her bowl when Yunjin emerges, hair a veritable bird's nest and eyes blinking sleep away. She looks a bit stompy until she spots Chaewon and her features soften at the edges.

Chaewon, for her part, furrows her brows and pouts mockingly. "Oooh, grumpy face," she teases.

Yunjin greets her with a quick kiss that Chaewon then elongates by following her retreat, rising on her tip toes until her height is maximized. She can feel Yunjin's lips quirking upwards by the end and it makes her smile in turn.

"Were you guys just kissing?" she hears suddenly, and her head snaps toward a very confused Hanni sitting at the dining room table.

-

It is a combination of what happened the previous night and the knowledge that Hanni is the worst possible member who could have caught them that pushes Chaewon to insist on being the one to talk to her. Allowing Yunjin to do it feels too easy, and even worse, it feels like taking advantage. Chaewon is the one who insists on secrecy; it only seems right that she be the one to explain the situation. Even if her relationship with Hanni is... lacking, to say the least.

She sits the other girl down on the couch, two feet of empty space between them.

"Um, so whatever you saw-"

"You and Yunjin kissing."

"-it's not what it looks like," she finishes, rushing to explain. Hanni raises her eyebrows at her.

"A few months ago, we decided to practice dating, you see, and kissing is just a byproduct of that!" she continues. "It's just another thing that we practice now."

If possible, Hanni's eyebrows have migrated into her hairline. "What exactly does 'practice dating' entail?"

"Well, you know, we go on dates and hold hands and kiss, like you saw." Then, because she's rambling nervously and it just sort of bubbles forth, "Pretty much whenever we have free time, you know."

Hanni barks out a laugh. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," she gasps.

"What do you mean?" Chaewon snaps, face scrunched in offense.

"If you're going on dates and holding hands and kissing, you're dating," Hanni deadpans. "Tacking a word in front of it doesn't change anything."

"No, you don't understand-" Chaewon starts, but Hanni's patience for this conversation appears to have run out because she cuts her off.

"Listen, Dodok." she says. Chaewon clamps her mouth shut. "Maybe it's easier to pretend that it's fake and live in denial for your friendship or your own issues or whatever, but that's just what it is: denial. I don't need details or more than the fifteen seconds I saw to know that. So, I'll cut to the chase: Is she the first thing you think about in the morning? Last thing before you fall asleep? Gives you butterflies and makes you happy, even brings you peace, right?"

Then, serious and quiet, "Most importantly, you can't imagine being with anyone else... can you?"

For a long moment, Chaewon is silent as she contemplates the way Hanni has so succinctly and brutally laid her soul bare. It feels like she's standing on the edge of a precipice, tipping this way and that, and though blood is rushing in her ears like howling wind and her heart is a bass drum in her chest, she knows which way she wants to fall.

In an impossibly small voice, she asks: "How did you know?" Afterwards, her chest loosens, and she takes the easiest breath she has in a while.

An expression that Chaewon has never seen on Hanni before softens the girl's features, clouds her eyes dreamily. She seems to snap out of it after a moment. "Let's just say I have some experience in that department," she returns, and almost subconsciously glances towards the larger bedroom.

Chaewon doesn't need to be a genius to know she means Minji.

"She doesn't deserve you pretending your feelings are different than they are," Hanni continues unexpectedly, but with finality. "If you keep on like this, you'll just push her away anyway."

Chaewon gulps, already well aware of what she has to do.

-

She finds Yunjin in their room, back against the wall and cross-legged on her bed as she watches some horror movie on the television. The younger girl's eyes flitter between her and the screen as Chaewon settles next to her.

"How did it go?" she asks. Chaewon picks at her fingernails.

"It went, um... differently than I expected," she chuckles nervously. Yunjin shoots her a curious look before the movie pulls her gaze back.

Maybe it's easier if Yunjin isn't looking at her, Chaewon decides, and squeezes her eyes shut before taking the leap.

"I think we should date for real."

When she opens her eyes, Yunjin's still staring at the screen. She's also wearing a massive, megawatt smile, granted, but Chaewon's words haven't even turned her head.

"Cool," she says cheekily, and it tips Chaewon over into defensiveness.

"Cool?" she practically shrieks. "Is that all?"

"Chae, we've been dating for real the whole time," Yunjin states. Now that she's looking at her, mischievous spark in her eye and a smirk pulling at her lips, Chaewon wishes she wouldn't. Her stomach shudders.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

There must be something in the way her voice sounds like porcelain that makes Yunjin realize she needs more, because suddenly the girl is sighing and pausing her movie and turning fully towards Chaewon. She chews on her lower lip while staring at her lap for a moment.

"When you first suggested the whole practice dating thing, I thought... I thought it was my chance, you know? That I could show you how we'd be together," she pauses as Chaewon studies the pink of her face frantically, pieces of the puzzle slotting into place, "For a while I kind of thought we were on the same page and it was just unspoken but then... I realized you needed more time to figure it out."

Chaewon's hand slides into Yunjin's, and Yunjin squeezes before letting out a breath.

"I guess I got a bit frustrated towards the end," she admits, lips twitching as she meets Chaewon's eyes.

There is a great warmth expanding in Chaewon's chest, contentment and excitement in equal measure, and she grins unabashedly before she's pulling Yunjin's head down and pressing that grin into the other girl's mouth.

"You are an annoyingly good girlfriend," Chaewon murmurs when they separate. Yunjin's eyes twinkle.

"Our anniversary is March 16th, by the way," she boasts.

Chaewon kisses her again to shut her up.

--

the end~

tysm for reading and pls leave a comment if you'd like me to continue posting purinz short stories like this :)