fake it till you make it | purinz

0.4

They don't get to kiss very often, ultimately, but that's not for lack of trying. The problem is that the moment the high of the first time wore off, the moment they stepped back into the dorm with faces red from sunburn and guilt, their fake relationship morphed into something that felt like it needed to be kept secret. Not that they weren't carrying on without telling anyone before, but lately it feels like they're putting forth extra effort to remain guarded.

Which means they can only kiss in private, when they're completely alone.

Which means they very rarely kiss, because they are very rarely completely alone.

They make do in small moments they've learned to carve out for each other: Yunjin running back to kiss Chaewon goodbye on her way to a shoot when the blonde is the only one still in bed, Chaewon pulling Yunjin aside during a dance practice break when the other girls have scattered, a lingering end to a pretend date before they duck back inside.

Still, they sometimes go days without so much as a peck, and today is one of those days.

It leaves Chaewon feeling almost itchy in her skin when she's near Yunjin, like her instincts pull her to reach out and she has to tamp them down awkwardly. It doesn't help that Yunjin seeks her out in between dance routines, a slight smirk tilting her mouth.

"I like how you did your top," she says, indicating the makeshift crop-top Chaewon has formed by tying her shirt up and tucking the knot inside. Then Yunjin holds up a rubber band. "Will you do mine the same?"

Chaewon exhales shakily. If Yunjin notices, her smirk only deepens. "Uh, yeah, sure."

She snatches the rubber band from Yunjin, jostling the younger girl to face away with little shoves at her shoulders. Then she makes quick and prim work of tying up Yunjin's shirt and doesn't linger at all, not even when tucking the knot in, not even when checking that the fold is even.

Yunjin still catches her hand for a second, still traces the pads of her fingers briefly before turning around like nothing happened. As it is, none of the other girls have taken any notice.

Chaewon gulps, because Yunjin's looking at her the same way she always does before she kisses her.

"Thanks," Yunjin says quietly, and then walks back to her starting point.

-

They catch Sakura and Kazuha kissing on the dorm couch later that afternoon, having gotten back together at... some point, possibly even within the last five minutes. And because Chaewon and Yunjin have never turned down an opportunity to mock any of their unnies, their kneejerk reactions are a chorus of "Ewwwwww!"

The two older girls split apart instantaneously.

"Get a room," Yunjin gags. Chaewon grips onto her forearm in solidarity.

"We had a room." Sakura rolls her eyes, launching herself off of the couch, and Kazuha scampers about a bit in discombobulation before joining her.

Yunjin must realize what that means at the exact same moment that Chaewon does, because their gazes snap together all at once. That telltale spark is back in Yunjin's eye.

"Yes, well, we're gonna play video games now and you know how competitive I get..." Yunjin trails off.

Chaewon fills in the blank: "Lots of yelling. Lots of cursing. Very unromantic."

Before Sakura can manifest a literal storm cloud above her head, Kazuha tugs her girlfriend towards the front door. "You know what? That's fine," she smiles, shooting an encouraging look towards Sakura, "We have our own spot, don't we, honey?" Though grumbling all the way, Sakura allows herself to be dragged out of the dorm.

Yunjin rounds on Chaewon the moment the door clicks shut.

"I was thinking-" she starts, but is effectively cut off by Chaewon's successfully landed kiss.

"-if we were together-"

Another quick kiss as Chaewon rises on tiptoe and tangles their fingers together, butterflies in her stomach.

"-I might kiss you a bit differently," she finishes. It's Chaewon's turn to pause as she rocks back on her heels. Yunjin is watching her with a mixture of trepidation and fond excitement, the start of something determined broiling in her eyes.

Heart galloping, Chaewon looks up from under her lashes. "Like how?" she prompts delicately.

The moment she tips her chin upwards, Yunjin takes it for the signal it is.

This time, Yunjin kisses her like a girlfriend would, deep with intention, with the swipe of her tongue, and Chaewon is too dazed to realize she's been backed against a wall.

Her brain clocks out, registering only Yunjin's hands in her hair and kiss on her lips, and this is trouble like Chaewon's never known.

-

Admittedly, things devolve after that.

It's just that it's a bit difficult to concentrate on studying Japanese, or learning the next routine, or hiding their fake relationship, or much of anything, really, when Yunjin kisses her like that at every chance, when Chaewon wants her to.

They almost get caught about a thousand times, stumbling out of the bathroom or jumping apart at the dining room table, and the possibility of it nags at the back of Chaewon's mind like a parasite. It's practically divine intervention when they find out they'll be traveling to Japan together, always accompanied by a gaggle of HYBE staff members.

-

"We should probably cool it for the trip," Chaewon says, voice pitched low as if there's a chance the chatting girls in the common room will overhear. As it is, Chaewon and Yunjin are sprawled out on Yunjin's bed, heads on opposite ends as they play on their DS and Switch respectively.

Yunjin lets out a sigh, though Chaewon can't tell if it's because of the topic of conversation or because she's made a mistake in her game. "We probably should," she affirms.

"It would be a lot worse to be caught by a manager-nim than one of the other girls," Chaewon continues. Nonsensically, she feels like she needs to justify the situation, like she owes Yunjin an explanation. Like they're taking a real break.

"Yeah," Yunjin says. The air seems heavy.

"Um, so... yeah," Chaewon finishes lamely.

Yunjin doesn't say anything else, just pounds away at her Switch, so Chaewon doesn't say anything more either. The whole thing was surprisingly easy, really.

She feels relieved. She feels dreadful.