I remember it so vividly. Haunting nights when I can't get my body to shut down as I please, the memory comes back like a tease.
I remember the words spoken, the silence heard, the pounding heart that covered my ears so as to keep me at peace.
But I don't remember it so vividly.
I don't remember the cruelty of the words spoken, how they cut me in half to put me in a way that I can't feel whole once more.
I don't remember the filling tension that danced around us, that you may have ignored but I took to heart.
I don't remember the tears that I pushed back with a bite of my tongue.
And no, I don't remember the way you acted like you cared just to convince yourself you're a good person.
Maybe I wasn't there. My body stood there like a statue, my body language slightly inhumane. My mind was elsewhere, my soul was hiding from the reality of the situation. I wasn't quite there the way you wanted me to be. Because you wanted me to understand completely how badly you didn't want me, but I wanted you to understand how badly I needed you.
The simple truth is, I don't want to remember. Because if I remember, I'll remember it all, and I will cry you a river just for you to swim in it and break me once more.
YOU ARE READING
Moral Ambiguity
PoetryPerpectives of life from my eyes and my stories. Delves into the themes of what it means to be human, intense emotions, and life in itself. Most importantly, written about the world from a thirteen year old girls eyes. Includes: Short stories, Poems...
