Reputations Matter Most | Fedex Fanfiction

Chapter 12

"He said he wasn't feeling well and our mother let him stay in." Biana said to Keefe as they walked towards Fitz's room.
"I don't think he is sick though, he just seems... conflicted. So please try and help him out, Keefe."
Keefe smiled at Biana.
"I have a feeling I know what's bothering him." Keefe said.
"He'll go to Foxfire tomorrow, I'll convince him."

Biana nodded as they stood outside of Fitz's bedroom door.
"... Good luck." Biana said.
"Yeah, I'll need it." Keefe sighed softly.
Keefe looked at the door and knocked on it.
"Yo~ Fitzter? It's your favourite person!"
Keefe then hesitated and said, "Or well, maybe your second favourite person! Depending on how you're feeling about a certain someone!"

No response.

Keefe rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm barging in there."
Keefe opened the door and entered the room. Biana sighed and shook her head as Keefe shut the door once he entered the room.
Keefe did knock, but entering without any response from Fitz? He sometimes lacked manners.
Biana decided to just leave and head towards her own room, let Keefe deal with her depressed brother.

Once Keefe shut the door, he looked over to see Fitz in his bed. He was sat up and Keefe whistled as he noticed Fitz didn't have a shirt on.
"Damn, Dex is gonna be a lucky guy-" Keefe was about to joke.
Keefe stopped himself as Fitz glared at him.
Keefe frowned at Fitz.

"I'll be serious. Put on a shirt though, I may gain feelings for you if I have to look at your chest any longer." Keefe said, grinning at Fitz.
That caused a small smile to appear on Fitz's face.
"You're an idiot. You're already smitten with Tam." Fitz said, but he still grabbed a shirt nearby and put it on.

Keefe made his way over to Fitz and sat down on the bed next to him.
"So why were you half naked? Were you too into your feelings about Dex?" Keefe raised his eyebrows at Fitz.
"Stop it." Fitz scowled, his cheeks turning red.
"I can't like Dex."

Keefe smiled.
"Ah, can't and not don't this time!" Keefe exclaimed.
"So we've accepted these feelings-?"
"No!" Fitz snapped.
"I don't... I don't like Dex."
A small silence overcame them.

Keefe sighed and Fitz frowned, his nose scrunching up as his eyes began to water. Keefe noticed how Fitz was ready to cry and he wrapped his arms around Fitz, pulling him in closer.
Fitz hid his face into Keefe's shoulder as Keefe rubbed his back.

"You did what I told you to do." Keefe stated, trying to use a soft tone of voice.
"I did." Fitz's voice cracked.
"And you realized something?" Keefe asked.
"... No." Fitz hesitated.
"Fitz..." Keefe sighed softly.
Fitz pulled away from Keefe and looked into his eyes.

"... I felt this way towards Sophie." Fitz said, tears filling his eyes as he stared at Keefe.
"And how I'm feeling with Dex is more intense, more real."
Keefe hummed, nodding.
"Yeah? Isn't that a good thing though? You're into him!" Keefe smiled, now rubbing Fitz's shoulder.
Fitz gulped and shook his head.

"Keefe, my reputation, the Vacker name, my image-" Fitz began.
"Fitz. What's more important? What matters most to you? A stupid reputation because you're noble or having feelings for someone who could be your soulmate?" Keefe asked.
Fitz stopped as he stared at Keefe.
Keefe stared back at Fitz, smiling softly.

"You think of your father's opinion too much. You need to accept that... this? These feelings? They're normal. Just because Dex is a guy, doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid." Keefe stated.
"You've put yourself through hell, so many breakdowns to be 'perfect'. You've put up so many facades to be seen as a stuffy noble, to be 'normal'. Put yourself first, not your family name or reputation."

Fitz stared at Keefe in silence before he let out a sob.
Keefe gulped and he pulled Fitz close once again. Fitz let out a few cries into Keefe's shoulder and Keefe just comforted him. He rubbed his back in circular motions while quietly whispering comforting things.

Keefe hated when he seen Fitz cry. He usually tried to never cry unless if it got too much, no matter how many times Keefe tried to tell him that crying is good for him. That's what made Fitz's crying so heartbreaking, that he does it when his emotions were bottled up for too long and suddenly breaks down when something's tipped him over the edge.
Fitz was stubborn. He is stubborn.
And Keefe just had to be there for his best friend while he figured himself out and tried to accept himself.

*****

Fitz was finally calmed down and now had a cup of tea in hand. Keefe had his own cup of tea. Della had made it for them since Keefe had asked her to make them some.
Fitz fiddled with the mug in his hand as he felt... well, he felt pitiful for crying like that. But it was in front of Keefe, so he was okay-ish. Keefe would never judge him, he knew that.

"So... what is most important to you?" Keefe asked, looking at Fitz.
Fitz stared at the tea in the mug and he frowned.
"I want to put myself first, so badly." Fitz whispered.
"But Alvar already ruined my family."
Fitz looked at Keefe.
"I can't..."
Keefe scoffed quietly.

"Fitz." Keefe said, setting aside his cup of tea on the bedside drawer.
"You can't just... not face your feelings. It's not good for you and I know that maybe it may tarnish your image a little, but this is love!"
Keefe stared at Fitz, looking at him with desperation.
"You went out with Sophie because you had feelings for her. You tell me that these feelings are way more intense and you're telling me you're just... not gonna go for it? You're just gonna keep Dex as a friend?"

Fitz bit his lower lip as he tightened his grip on the mug.
"Keefe, you don't understand!" Fitz scowled.
"Fitz, I'm your best friend! I want you to be happy!" Keefe snapped back.
"You wanting to save the Vacker image is not making you happy! You don't have to be the stupid golden boy all the fucking time!"
The two of them stared at each other.

Keefe sighed.
"Fitz... I don't know what your sexuality is, you have to figure that out yourself. But you have liked girls all your life that you believe liking Dex, one boy, means nothing. That you can brush it off and date another girl. But you said that your emotions for Dex are intense and more real. As your best friend, I want you to tell Dex that and... get yourself someone you really truly love to be your boyfriend." Keefe said.
"Don't think about others. Think about yourself. What do you want?"
Fitz took a sip of his tea, making a bitter face as Keefe was trying to pressure him into making a choice.

"... I want to be alone, Keefe."

Keefe felt his heart drop and he frowned.
"How long?" Keefe asked.
"Tonight, maybe tomorrow." Fitz mumbled.
"I'll... I'll hail you when I'm ready to talk about this."
Keefe sighed softly and he got up from the bed.
"Fine. I'll give you some space." Keefe said.
"Really Fitz... if you need me at any time to cry or to talk to about anything at all, please. I'll be there as soon as you hail me."

Fitz didn't looked at Keefe but he nodded in response. Keefe sighed out again and he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'll see you, Fitz."
Keefe made his way towards the door and he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Fitz stared at the tea in his hand and he gulped. He took a few deep breaths as he tried his best to not cry again.
What matters most to him was his family. But... how could be keep up this act? How much longer can he handle all this before he does something worse than liking a boy to ruin the Vacker name?

Fitz just needed to be alone. He didn't want to see Dex or Keefe.
He had to think about this and take time deciding what he wanted.

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Word count: 1362