Parallel Lines- *RAYOR*

Chapter 20

It isn't simple, Nicco. The world isn't black and white. People aren't split into good and bad. You have to understand that.

I'm burning with embarrassment and shame. But not just that. I'm upset that Blake's upset. And because she's angry with me. And because I was right, and Levy was wrong, and now we're both getting in trouble for it.

"Why does Levy get to stay with Blake?" I moan to Aster.

"Because you were right, Nicco," he says patiently, for the third time. "Because he was wrong and he needs to help Blake to make it right."

"I'm never involved in the fun," I say.

"That's not fun. Gabriel's dying." Aster's tone is more snappish so I stop.

"I didn't mean it like that," I mumble. "It's just that I told Levy to stop."

"But you didn't tell one of us what was happening," says Aster. "I don't get it. You're usually the first to rat Levy out." The last sentence is said in a jokey way but it sends a pang through my heart. It had been true. Why wasn't it now?

"I don't know. You said that I had to be nicer to him," I say, even though it wasn't the reason.

"Not like that," says Aster.

I cross my arms. "Can I go see Blake?"

"No," says Aster in a funny accent. I laughed despite myself. "It's time for you to reap."

"What?" I complain.

"You have to reap Levy, Blake, and Gabriel's shares too." His voice trembled on Gabriel's name.

"But why?"

"It won't take long, you know how little reaping there is for each of you."

"But why can't someone help me? Like- I don't know, Kei? Or Levy?"

"Kei doesn't like you," says Aster gently.

"What? No, he likes me," I say. Everyone likes me, except for Death now that I've endangered his son. And...

"But what about Blake? I need to help her! She'll be so upset!"

"Why was she upset in the first place, Nicco?" Aster's being patient with me. I know I should appreciate it more.

"I don't know," I say. "I did try to stop it. I'm not... I'm not in trouble, am I?" I'm worried again. I know about the Impotens, even though any mention of it around me has been shut down by my big brother. I know it happens to bad, bad people. I wonder if I'm one of them.

I don't want to be the villain of this story.

"Nicco, just do what I tell you to and you won't," says Aster. "Come on."

"No. Aster, please. I want to help Blake."

"She doesn't want to see you," says Aster. "She was really upset."

"Yeah, but she'll see Levy. And Levy's the one who let Gabriel not reap."

"That's his punishment."

"Then I want to be punished! It's simple!"

"It isn't simple, Nicco. The world isn't black and white. People aren't split into good and bad. You have to understand that."

I'm almost in tears by now. Angry tears threaten to spill over. I clench my fists. "I'm not a child."

"You're nine."

"AND A QUARTER!" I yell, and storm upstairs. I start to angrily, loudly, throw things across my room. I chuck a glass, a mirror, a set of Russian dolls, a scythe... my vision blurs, and I cut my hand on a sharp edge of the scythe. I start properly crying. Loudly. Because my hand hurts, and my head hurts, and I've just messed everything up. My self esteem's pretty low at this point.

I'm in the choked up, face sticky, throat dry stage when Aster comes in with a wet flannel. He sits next to me and puts his arm round me. Once I'm mostly cleaned up, and hiccupping, he says,

"Look. I'll take you to Blake's and if she's okay with it, you can stay and I'll take care of your reaping. But if she doesn't want you to be there then you have to do what I ask you to."

"Fine," I say. I'm grateful, though.

I'd just never tell him that.