Parallel Lines- *RAYOR*

Chapter 21

There is a space there, a cavity in your soul, that only family can fill.

Fragrant steam was rising by the time Nicco arrived. I first stared, then glared at him. Why the heck was he here?

"Can I help?" he asked timidly.

"With what?" I snarl.

"Ashwagandha," says Levy. I pass the cut up root to him, and he drops it into the cauldron. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. Like... something like barnyard animals.

"Aster-"

"What did Aster promise?" I look round at Aster fiercely.

"I didn't promise anything," says Aster defensively. "I just said that, if you were okay with it, Nicco could help you."

"I have all the help I need," I say, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"Come on, Blake," says Nicco pleadingly. I hate how his big green eyes are so hurt. I hate that I know he's just young and that he didn't try to do anything wrong, he was just helping his brother- and the blame can't even be pinned onto one specific person anyway.

"I don't even need help," I say. "The potion's half-done."

"But I'm sorry," says Nicco.

I can't think of anything to say. So I come up with what has to be the worst answer I can. "I know."

His face falls, almost comical if it weren't in this situation. "Blake, I am sorry."

"Nicco, I know."

"Blake," says Aster.

"Red Ginseng," says Levy. I hand the herb to him. He stirs. "Is it supposed to be this thick?"

I glance at the potion, then at the recipe book. The book says, Stir and let boil for three minutes. It should be pale lilac and have the consistency of yoghurt. It doesn't. It's more... syrupy. It's too sticky, and too thick, and it's gone a pale, honey-brown colour.

"You messed up the potion!" I say accusingly.

"Hey, I haven't done nothing," he says, holding up his hands.

"Nicco, leave."

"But I-"

"Leave."

"Come on, Blake," says Aster.

"No. Aster, stop it. Once I get the potion right... fine, Nicco can come, but only then. And he has to finish his reaping before that time."

I can't see Nicco's face because I'm busy scraping the potion pot and filling it with boiling water to cleanse it, but I can tell he's upset. He leaves, though. Much to his credit.

Levy doesn't speak as I read through the potion ingredients again. Bring water to a boil. First add the whole herbs and spices, then the ground ones. Levy starts with the base of the potion- the boiled whole herbs and spices- whilst I work with a pestle and mortar, slamming down the pestle onto the spices and herbs, the bark and dried sprigs, as if slamming down a fist onto my problems. I imagine the face of Nicco and Levy, and immediately feel bad when I bring the pestle down.

"Blake, can I have the eluthero?"

I pass him the dried berries, and he drops them into the potion, avoiding the splash of boiling water.

"Blake, why aren't there any magical ingredients in this potion?"

I sigh. I don't like it when he says my name. "Nature can work powerfully as well. On Earth, there are medicines, and pills you can take... and some brews which are made up of natural ingredients, herbs and berries. People don't have magic there."

"Why?"

I shrug. "How am I supposed to know?"

"I thought your dad would talk about this. My mum talks about these things. You know, like, over the dinner table..."

"We don't have dinner," I say. "I'm surprised your mum came home in time for it."

"I mean, before. I miss her."

"You still see her," I say, annoyed. I don't like Maria, and she's dead and gone, but she still left a hole in my heart. There is a space there, a cavity in your soul, that only family can fill.

"You don't understand."

"I won't try to." My tone is icy.

Levy doesn't shrink like I thought he would. He looks at me, annoyed. "You're-" he accuses, in this twitchy way of his, in this voice of his which isn't derogatory but... the voice of someone who wants to be heard. "-you're like Nicco, you know? And I try so hard but sometimes it's not enough."

"I don't know," I say. And I wouldn't. I would never understand, but Gabriel might.

"That's why I wanted to help Gabriel. Because he's always being pushed around by- you-" I hear the apologetic tone in his voice but still scowl. "- and because I know how it feels. Kei says he loves his sister."

"So? You don't even know Kei." I glower.

"I know him enough," says Levy, nearly imperious. "Do you love Gabriel?"

I was flabbergasted. What did he just ask? The fact that he was questioning whether or not I loved Gabriel was so preposterous that I could do nothing but gape. My hand seemed to be drawn like a magnet towards him and before I knew it, I'd slapped him. Right across the face.

His eyes widened in shock. It wasn't a hard smack, but I knew surprise would make it worse. His eyes filled with tears, and he gulped, trying to keep them from spilling over.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled after a few tense seconds. He looked down, his expression terrified.

I'd ruined everything.