Glad I met you (Ross Lynch love story)

Chap. 6

It's been a week of filming already! I had to kiss Ross and I'm falling deeper which.... sucks in all honesty.

I wasn't joking when I said I needed a boyfriend. I need people to stop hating on me.

I haven't been totally honest...

I'm sure you noticed I don't want to like Ross because he's famous and a heart throb and all that. Well my hate for likng and dating guys is because I dated Christian Beadles for a while.

I thought I loved him, actually I did, at one point. I thought he felt the same but he left me for Kylie Jenner. She was one of my friends.

I felt and still feel like she betrayed me, stabbed me in the back. I was devastated. I never wanted to have another boyfriend again, until now. Since I like Ross the only thing I can do is make it so he doesn't play me.

I need to date someone I don't really like, well as much as I like Ross or liked Christian.

I have a whole plan! I'll date one of my guy friends. The thing is I don't want to hurt anybody so, if it's my friend, I can ask him and tell him my plan. We could fake date and that would be enough. Enough for the paps to get their stories and for fangirls to stop hating me about Christian already and Ross.

I'm already getting hate from his fans. His fans have accepted his fake/ non-existant relationship with Laura and are saying I'll wreck Raura. Like seriously, he probably doesn't even think of me like that. If anybody it would be Grace, although, I over heard her say she is in a secret relationship with some friend of hers from her hometown.

Anyway, in a way it's my fault, I look at the hate. I try not too but they send everything! Videos, words, pictures. It all hurts, a lot.

They sent me a link to a video for Laura and Ross. At first I didn't know why but once the end came and it was the picture of me and Ross kissing, I saw the comments. They were all hating me. Just because the one picture. I apparently ruined the whole thing.

Filming has been great! I actually love working on the movie. Sure, I see Ross but we're really good friends.

Austin and Ally filming for me hasn't started yet. They wanted Auslly to have some development time before Dez's girl comes in. Makes sense to me.

My sister is away, working on Spring Breakers still. I'm really proud of her. She's just as proud of me.

Tessa has been away too. She is filming too. She didn't tell me what though. Top secret project! Sounds exciting.

On other news about Austin and Ally, Laura, Raini and Calum are amazing. We're almost as close as me and Ross are. We have had sleepovers, only the girls and got to know eachother. It was refreshing making new friends. The only thing is, they don't know about my past. They don't know about the hate. The tears. Betrayal. None of it.

The hate gets to me, quite often, more than I like to admit. I mean even just watching that video. I cry too much. I wish I never cried. I have cried too many times this year.

Christian, Ross, hate, it adds up.

I really want a guy to keep my mind off things. Even if it would cause more trouble in the end. I need the comfort and company. I need someone to actually want me and spend time with me. It's not enough anymore to have a couple friends. I want someone to think that I'm more special than other girls. Even if I need to fake it. He would be comforting and I wouldn't be alone. I mean, he would think I was special if he would fake date me, he could be with anyone but he fakes it for me. That would be enough for me.

Enough sap for now though. I'm going to watch some T.V. Get my mind off of this.

"Ross Lynch has been spotted with who we think is his new girlfriend. Lynch and Thorne have been seen together quite a lot. Bella and Ross haven't made things official but we will be the first to know. Keep your eye out on the new couple."

Of course that's what comes on!

I feel the tears go down my face already.

"Why am I so pathetic?" I whisper.

I go into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. not in a vain way but you know, to see myself, like the emotions coming from the tears. I like to think that tears have different meanings in them. Like the stupid liquid would have different thoughts or advice bottled up in them. It's so stupid, I know. It helps me I guess, thinking like that.

I don't want you thinking I'm a typical depressed girl. I have never cut or made an attempt to... you know. I have never had an eating disorder either. Believe me, I have thought about it. I might reach that point but not now. I can't even imagine doing that to myself most of the time but sometimes it feels like that would be an easy way out. Out of pain and suffering.

It doesn't even matter, does it? Pain is pain no matter what. Who cares if it's emotional, mental, physical, sexual, it's all the same in the end. Right? Suffer, hurt, scared, scarred. It's all pain.

Stupid to think hate caused this. Some stupid fangirls can actually push me off the edge. I guess there's more, but really.

I need company. I need a friend, and I'm going man hunting tomorrow to find one.

I get into my bed and tuck myself in.

"Beep, beep!" My phone indicates a text.

I look at my phone and see that I had three unread texts. Three!

To Tia

From Nessa

Goodnight! I love you <3 Hope you're having a good time

I love my sister.

To Nessa

From Tia

I love you too! I am, hope you are too. Night <3

Message number two now....

To Tia

From Tess

Heyy, sleep tight! Love you sissy <3

My best friend.

To Tess

From Tia

Hey, I love you too sis. Night <3

One message to go...

To Tia

From Ross

Sweet dreams Ti :)

The guy I like. 

To Ross

From Tia

You too, night :)

He texted Ti because that's what he calls me now. I never ever let anybody call me that, usually. Him and Vanessa are the only ones aloud.

I put my phone down and fall asleep.