Till the End of the Line

Broken.

My head hurts. 

It's like a thousand little needles being poked inside my brain, or I read once somewhere Ancient Egyptains used a special hook to jiggle the brains out of their mummies. 

At least I think I read it somewhere.

Anyway I feel like a mummy, except not dead. Not fully anyway. 

Luckily the sound of the helicopter drowned out my screams. 

What was that? What were those memories? They weren't mine. They couldn't be mine. There was no life for me before HYDRA. HYDRA was all I've ever known.

My head hurts. 

I yell over the blades to the pilot, ordering him to go faster. The man is shaking, terrified of me. Of the Winter Soldier. Good, let him be afraid, he'll follow my orders twice as fast thinking I will shoot him. 

I'm with you till the end of the line pal.

I said those words, but I couldn't have said those words. 

Skinny kid from Brooklyn, always getting into fights.

Walking around a carnival, a redhead on my arm.

Fighting along side Captain America.

STOP.

Walking around a science fair 

Saving a boy from being beat up behind a schoolyard.

Pillow forts in a living room, a woman made us cookies. 

A stiff green uniform as I'm shipped off to a war. 

PLEASE.

Dancing with a blonde under the stars. 

Watching movies with...someone.

Pushups at an army base. 

Falling. 

Falling down and crashing hard, my arm no longer attached to my body.

Red hot pain turns white and numb. 

My head is screaming, then I realize I'm screaming. Not only that but I'm crying, and I can't seem to stop. I'm clutching the side of the helicopter seat with my metal arm so hard that I bend it, crumpling like paper under my grip. 

Why was this happening? What was wrong with me?

I look down at Becca, her face contorted in painful expression and I feel a wave of anger and hatred come over me again. 

What was I thinking taking her with me? She took a bullet for me. 

I should have seen it coming long before she had to.

Why hadn't I seen it? 

One thing swims to the front of my thoughts with perfect clarity. A single thought ringing true in my mind.

If she dies...

My heart would be broken.