Till the End of the Line

Anchor.

As I sit there and watch my student a song pops in my mind. It was weird, because I only knew Russian songs that my handlers occasionally listened to on their radio. This song was in English.

Till the wells run dry, 

I suddenly get a shooting pain in my head, a blurry picture of a redhead in my arms, her chin on my shoulder and my hands on her waist. I close my eyes and I can almost feel her warmth, smell her perfume, her breath on my neck. We were dancing, her face was blurred, as if it was redacted information on a file.     

and each mountain disappears, 

The scene changes to a bar, everything's silent, like a TV on mute. There's a group of men around me, we're laughing. I'm happy. I clap someone on the back and I recognize that uniform. Captain America. The sworn enemy of HYDRA and everything I stand against. Why is he in my head? I would never cooperate with Americans.    

I'll be there for you, to care for you, 

My mind switches to the first time I met Becca and I feel a smile trying to force its way on my face but I push it back down. She'd been so full of fire and hate, yelling profanities and struggling as much as she could. I knew she'd been in the Red Room for some time before she was sent to me, but apparently she did not like the change of scenery. To be fair, my first words to her were " I will break you." She'd called me an asshole and spat on my boot. I'd hated her for it. Now I'm silently praying that she'll wake up again and call me an asshole.   

through laughter and through tears.  

Something in me spurs me to grab her hand. It's cold but soft, and I absentmindedly interlock my fingers with hers, making sure that the nurses don't see me. As much as I hate to admit it, I was going crazy without her to talk to. I missed out banter, her quips and sassy comments, hell I even miss the way she look at me. Like the scum at the bottom of her shoe. She was my anchor in this cruel winter climate. The thing that kept me from floating off into the deep end. She was a part of me I didn't know was missing and now the possibility of her not waking up leaves an aching cavity in my chest. 

I'm so caught up in my thoughts I squeeze her hand. 

And she squeezes back.