Back To You

chapter 8

_☁️_

I will kill myself soon. But until then, how do I tame my pain?

'Am I wrong?' the present Hyunjin wondered why am I too concerned about a guy who I barely knew but suddenly a sudden memory passes through a memory that was never there

Who are you? Why are you in my mind...

Why can't I let you go?

To me, Jisung was someone who I had barely seen or heard and but that was all that would be the reason for the letters that I had gotten from my future self why was it about Jisung?

Why was it Jisung, it could have been anyone or about anything

But why Jisung?

A question started to linger over Hyunjin's head as he sighed deeply staring at the blank ceiling his eyes feeling heavy

Who was Jisung for me?

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"You are late,again" Hyunjin smiled cheekily at Felix who was not so pleased with his best friend, "where did you run off to yesterday, leaving me all alone" Felix asked Hyunjin

Hyunjin thought for a while contemplating if he must tell Felix about this thing that had been going on but again there was a feeling that had prevented him from sharing the secret between him and his future self about Jisung

Before Hyunjin spouted a lie the bell rang as the teacher came to the class Hyunjin looked over his front seat and noticed Jisung had not come but soon was cut off by the sudden opening of the door as a smile on Hyunjin's face was formed just like always Jisung had come late

Angry noises from the teacher and Jisung's continues apologies yet there was Hyunjin waiting for Jisung to sit down at his place and when he did Hyunjin tapped his shoulder giving him a toothy smile good morning Jisung

Other side being totally startled by the tallers sudden greeting he smiled a little greeting him back satisfied Hyunjin leaned back to his seat smiling on his own

Not knowing a pair of jealous eyes has been looking at the two.

A short break was provided and Hyunjin who wanted to call Jisung but was left without letting the poor boy even call him Hyunjin pouted smiling seeing Jisung in rush

"You guys look like you know each other" startled by the deep voice Hyunjin smiles over to Felix "hmm-" he hums still smiling over the fact how cute Jisung looked

"Jisung's a nice guy though it's been a day since I had get to know him but I can feel it he is one of the kind-i want to know more about'' Hyunjin words were felt bitter to Felix who looked at Hyunjin with pained eyes

'Why am I feeling this way?'

"Why don't you invite him over to have lunch with us" Felix said "I want to know him too-"

"Why?" Hyunjin question "well can't i, I want to know more about the boy who my best friend is so intrested in-" Felix said

Just as Hyunjin was about to say something he noticed Jisung coming back to his place

"Jisung-" Hyunjin called Jisung turned back awkwardly knowing Felix was giving him not so kind look "is it okay if you join me and Felix for lunch Felix here wants to know more about you-"

Jisung looked over to Felix who gave him a forced smile "please Jisung I want to know you better-''

"Sure" Jisung replied making Hyunjin smile brightly

The classes felt much longer to Hyunjin today or he was just restless to have Jisung and Felix meet up when the break bell rang he sighed a relief getting up and grabbing Jisung's hand who flinches with the sudden touch

"Let's go "he smiled making Jisung come with him as he made his way to Felix who was more bitter with Hyunjin holding Jisung's hand

"Yea let's go I'm hungry-" Felix said forcing a smile holding Hyunjin's hand dragging him Hyunjin who blushed with the contact of his long time crush holding his hand and he did not realise that he had slightly let go off Jisung's hand but Jisung held it tighter though Hyunjin was busy focusing on Felix

There was Jisung looking at him with sadness in his eyes hoping one day maybe Hyunjin would look at him that way too but again he is incapable of it he looks over to his hand that held Hyunjin it was enough for him

Even if it was from far away he could see Hyunjin then that was what he ever wanted

"So you guys just met just like that-" Felix spoke dissatisfied he looks at Jisung and sighs "Hyunjin never does something like that though it's weird for him to suddenly be friends with you, it's suspicious-" he stared at Hyunjin who chocked on his food "what is suspicious about it lix,- I just wanted to be his friend" Hyunjin tried to stop the conversation before Felix good try to ask more question

"Hmmm-" Felix hummed well "Hyunjin's friend is also my friend though I don't like to share my Hyunjin with others"somehow Jisung felt a strange emotion with what Felix said it was likehe was indirectly telling him go off but there was he sitting still smiling while his heart hurt-

"I have never had friends before so when Hyunjin offered me a hand of friendship I was excited I'm sorry if i-"

"No-no" Hyunjin interrupted him "Felix did not mean it like that Felix here does not like sudden changes that's why he said it like that otherwise he is very pleased to meet you Jisung well for me I'm happy that I am you're friend"

"Right lix?" He looked over to Felix who was calmly eating his food

"Yea.."

Jisung smiled happily, for the first time ever he had made friends this was such a dream for him a dream that had turned to be a distinct reality

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"Are we going to breakup" the future Felix asks the future Hyunjin who remains quiet "felix why are you-" he sighs "if you want it then-"

"Hyunjin!!" Felix yelled "are you fucking serious we have been dating since we were 18 and now we are fucking 27 are you fucking with me?" Felix sighs "we need time and you need some rest I can't deal with you now you are having thoughts and you're just sick- talking about a dead guy you are seriously crazy!"Felix said

Hyunjin glared at him "don't talk about Jisung like that-

"Jisung -Jisung fucking Jisung" Felix sighs trying to calm himself down I don't want any of that dead guys name in you're mouth-I'm giving you 2 weeks to the max make up you're mind"

''You are going to marry me and I don't take a no for it".

_☁️_