The Stars of My Heart [Completed]

Chapter Thirteen

   Rebecca prepared a hot meal of potato stew for us. Once the sun went down, a chill graced the air. This meal will keep our insides warm while we sleep. The fire is contained this time, so I guess Crista learned her lesson, although I wouldn't mind a big fire tonight. My mind won't shut up. I stare into the flame, watching it dance, taking a new turn every second.

The flames never die until something forces them to. Just like my mother. I thought I was doing well. Waking up every morning, starting all over again. I thought I was in the right, to never give up, no matter what. But now I have learned the difference between the two. Never giving up, and doing the right thing are two separate tasks. Just because I never gave up does not mean I was right. Not even wishing on stars can change that.

"You never told me about my mother, Rebecca. What was she like?" I ask, breaking the rambling in my head.

She raises her face from out of her hands, "Well, she was one of the nicest people I knew. She would visit me every so often, sharing a cup of tea, talking about the latest gossip. One day I sent her a letter. I told her that I had gotten myself in a little bit of trouble with one of the local gangs."

I gasp. Quickly she raise her hands, "Not your father's gang, but one of the nearby ones. I had been out one night, and, let's just say, I messed with the wrong group of people. I bet that I could beat them in a game of pool. I knew I would win, it was easy money.

"My magic is a form of mathematical understanding. Pool was the perfect way to show off my skills without revealing I was a witch. Like I had predicted, I won the game. They never even got a shot in. The whole night was just me, making circles around the pool table. I thought I was a genius. They had bet a great deal of money. Looking back, I should have known I was in danger from the start. The gang got angry, saying that I was cheating. I guess in a way, I was, but not in the way they were thinking. For "lying to the gang," I had to pay them what they said they would pay me. I wrote a letter to Maria, asking her to make me some money. Before the letter was sent, they raided my house. Through the raid, they found my letter. On paper, it sounded really bad. Illegal actually. They took all of my belongings. From what I know, they went for your mother, as well."

Through the whole story, I can't breathe. I listen, my eyes wide, without blinking. I knew it was the Huva gang. It lines up perfectly from her story.

"I can't keep going on this trip, not telling you. If you want to blame anyone for her death, it should be me. That's what I meant by, I owe your mother a lot. I owe both her, and your life. I'm so sorry."

Now she stares into the fire, expressionless. I'm tired. Tired of felling angry. Tired of blaming people. If I'm honest, what she did was exactly what I would do if I crossed paths with the Huva gang. If I blame anyone, it is not her.

"Apology not accepted. You told me yourself. You have a dark past, but you are trying to fix it. In fixing it, you are also helping me. You cannot take back what you did, but you are doing everything you can to set it right."

I am trying, I really am. I just wish it wasn't so damn hard.

As our eyes start to close, Crista starts to lazily hum that same tune, the lullaby that has sent me to peace so many times.

I can't help but ask, "Where is that melody from? It's been in my head this whole trip."

"It's the lullaby from the palace. When the Queen was younger, she loved to play the piano. All of the kids in the palace were born at around the same time. For Christmas one year, she gifted all of us a song she had written. It was this lullaby. I asked her about it years later, she said that she sat in front of the piano for hours, trying to come up with an original lullaby." Taking a deep breath, she continues, "Axil and I still hum it. I hum as a reminder to keep myself calm, that's the whole point of a lullaby, and it's one of the most beautiful songs I know."