THIRTY FOUR

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There was the sound of typing for the first time in what felt like forever. Aggressive backspaces, moments of nonstop word vomits, and mass scrolling and speed reading that was making Blair's right eye twitch a little. Next to her was a marked up manuscript with red ink everywhere, edits she made as she read through it, though the edited version usually got double edited once she tried to convey the new paragraphs on her laptop.

She was finally writing again after not having the time or motivation for nearly a year. She hadn't even looked at the manuscript all semester. The roughest of drafts on the novel she oh-so desperately denied was about Jackson. As she once said, it was just a "love story between two main characters of color who may look a bit like her because, well, she was the damn writer, and another who may look or even act a bit like him because there would always be pieces of him in everything she did. He was all she ever knew, it was called having inspiration, having a muse."

No, she was actually just creating a world where their love story actually existed. A book where two people were able to grow around one another despite being so different in their careers and hobbies, yet their lives still found a way to be in one another's.

Even the short story she wrote that was published in AGNI that Haley had read before Blair ever came to work at Pacific College, a modular short story that spanned in and out of all these precious moments between a certain Briar and Jonah, called Born to Chase Sunsets. The two drift away and back, like waves crashing and retreating, yet growing around each other. The one where Haley perceived Jonah as Briar's sunset.

Haley once told her that her prose flowed like poetry, but Blair wasn't feel very poetic lately.

No, she was feeling angry, she was feeling lost, and she was feeling loss. In a span of a year she managed to find herself in a box, neatly folded into the lifestyle of Jackson Avery and Seattle Grace Mercy West. She found herself sometimes going out with her colleagues, but found most days, she found ways to fit her schedule around the busy ones of her surgical friends. She found herself thinking about Boston, and the price that choosing Jackson cost her.

She felt overwhelmed with grief over the idea that Ophelia might not be around to watch Blair publish her first book. It kicked Blair's ass back into gear, telling her that she needed to start prioritizing herself and her desires yet again, that she put her writing career on hold when she took the Pacific College position because not only was she continuously finding herself in spaces where she can't even finish out a semester of her job, but she couldn't even find space to be a writer.

So, now she was writing as if she was running out of time.

Because she might be. Because she wanted to be a published author before heaven forbids she losses Ophelia.

THERE'S NO WAY ❥ JACKSON AVERYWhere stories live. Discover now