Losing You

Nova

I was diagnosed with leukemia when I was fifteen. When the doctor said those words, I kind of expected it. It still hurt like hell though. Leukemia had killed my mom and as if it wasn’t enough, it was now killing me. We proceeded to all kinds of treatment hoping that I would be more lucky than she was. At first, I was just tired all the time. But then it started to get bad.  I started to lose my appetite and I would lose a lot of blood for no reason. We really knew it was bad when my dad found me unconscious on the bathroom floor. I was rushed to the hospital and kept there. I stayed there unable to see anyone. It’s not that I wasn’t allowed to. I had decided that if I would die, it would be better to keep people away from me. Even my closest friends.

After two years of being stuck in the same room, I realized that it was no use trying anymore. Nothing was working. I was getting worse and when my state seemed to improve, it was only for it to get even worse right after. There were days when it wasn’t that bad. But most of the time, the pain was too much. On the fourth of July, I asked to be sent home. I didn’t want to die in the hospital.

Surprisingly, they accepted immediately. My dad insisted that I kept on going with the  online lessons, but I had decided that if I was going to die, I wanted to graduate in highschool.
So, here I was on a Monday morning getting ready for my first day of school in a very long time. To say I was anxious was an understatement.

I was terrified. I had left without a warning and was coming back two years later as if I had never left. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My skin was pale, and I looked like I hadn’t eaten anything in days. I hadn’t eaten anything in days. Every time I tried to have a meal; I would end up throwing up in the toilet.

I walked down the stairs still anxious about going back. My dad ran to my side and grabbed my hand to help me get down the last steps.
“Dad, I’m not gonna break, you can let go of my hand.” I said.

I could see the sadness in his eyes as he looked at me. I knew he was trying his best to give me space. But I also knew how hard it was for him to watch me slowly fade away.

I walked the last three steps and took a seat around the kitchen table. My dad placed a bowl in front of me and poured cereals in it. I ate a bit of it and decided to stop when I started to feel sick.

“Are you sure you wanna go back to school ? You could also stay home with me all day. We could watch movies together. “

I rolled my eyes at him and chuckled.

“Nope, I’m fine with going back to school.” I replied.

I grabbed my backpack and walked towards the door. As I stepped outside, I stopped for a moment. I looked like a dead body. I had to hide my face. I walked back inside and went to search for something. I looked through my stuff until I finally found a cap to make my face less visible. As I walked outside, I heard my dad calling my name.
I turned around to see him running toward me.

“There’s no way I’m letting you walk to school. Hop in the car.”

I did as he said and turned on the radio.

The drive was quiet. My dad would sometime sing to try and break the silence and I would laugh at how bad of a singer he is. I liked the fact that he was trying to make me feel better. As we parked in front of the school, I felt my heart beating faster.

It was still the same place. Nothing had changed. Students were hugging each other, probably happy to see their friends again. I got out of the car and took a deep breath.
I looked at my dad and smiled, not wanting him to worry.

“See you tonight. Have fun !”

I started walking towards the entrance. People were looking at me in a weird way. Some girls were smiling at me but most of them were laughing or whispering. I felt uncomfortable. Maybe I should’ve listened to my dad.

I kept on walking until I was in the hallway. It was full of people who were screaming and laughing. A group of girls walked past me. One of them pushed me violently out of the way.

“Get out the way, freak.” She said.

I looked at her walking away before I tried to remember where the principal's office was. It wasn’t hard to find, as his name was written on the door. I was surprised that Mr. Presley was still the principal. I remember how easy it was to make him mad. I knocked on the door waiting for someone to open it.
As I was about to knock again, the door shot open revealing Mr. Presley’s face. He smiled as he realized who I was.

“Nova, how nice to finally see you again !” He practically yelled.
I looked around hoping that no one had heard him.

“Come in.” He said.

I stepped into his office and took a seat in front of him. He looked through my papers and then looked back at me.

“So, Nova, I’ve been warned about what’s going on. Just know that we’ll make sure not to tell the real reason of your absence.”

I felt relieved as I heard this sentence. The last thing I needed was for the other students to pity me. I thanked him and waited for him to keep talking.

“It seems like you are very lucky. Your old locker is still free so you can have it. I’m sure Alexander will be happy to see you.”

I faked a smile as he handed me my schedule.

Alexander was my best friend. That was until I left. I didn’t tell him about me leaving. I hadn’t talked to him for a whole week and then I left. I know it can sound selfish, but I couldn’t talk to him. It was better that way. I didn't want him to watch me die. I did it for him. If we weren’t friends anymore, then there was no reason for it to hurt him.

He wouldn’t have to deal with the grief. When I lost my mom, I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want him to feel the way I did.

I had to find a way to avoid him. Even if I had to break my own heart. I had to keep him away from me.

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Hi, guys !
Here's the first chapter of my new story.
I hope you ejoyed it.
I also realized that I forgot to introduce the main charachters so here's their aesthetic.

☆☆☆

Nova Reed

Alexander Webb