I dream, dream of a reality where I could be the me that you desired. Forcing myself to change, would be living in a lie. Being who I truly am will give me the constant reminder that I can't be who you love.
That hurts.
You talk about this girl with such happiness behind your voice, and I smile, even though I know I'm not that girl. I smile, even though I know I'm truly suffering inside. I smiled, even though my heart ached from your words, but if I made that be known, I'd be even less of the girl you love. But I also smile because I love to hear the happiness behind your voice, even if that happiness isn't meant for me.
That hurts.
It hurts until it becomes a constant loop of loving to hear you happy, and truly disliking what you're happy for.
How much more can I take before I fall apart completely, and would I tell you?
I doubt it
I'll hold it because I don't want to see you upset. I'll hold my love because I don't want to be reminded that my feelings aren't reciprocated. I'll hold it because, even though you don't love me, I still love you.
I love you, so even if I can't be the girl in your heart, hopefully I can still be enough.
