Same.

Love.

It's weird. It's weird how I kept chasing this one person.

It's weird how I'm trying my best to change for him.
It's weird how I'm getting distracted because of him.
It's weird how I'm fighting for his attention.
It's weird how I changed sits for him to see me.
It's weird how I like him.

It's weird how I've fallen head over heels for him.
How I changed for him.
How I would get out of my comfort zone for him to notice me. For him to love me. For him to actually see me.

I walked every hall way I think he'd walk. I joined every club he joined. I tried to be good at subjects he was good at. I joined the baseball team. I joined the drama club. I started to draw.

I shifted my entire hobby, personality, likes and dislikes.

for him.

And for what???

For him to tell me hi and hello. For him to walk pass me in the hallway to his friends. For me to get shy and just smile at him. For him to ignore me in class.

I've tried so hard to forget about him. But every smile I see. Every back I saw. Every shoe I noticed. Every painting I've painted. It's all him.

Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.

I can't get away from it. I want him to disappear. I hate him. I fucking hate him. I tried to notice the red flags. I tried to ignore him. I tried to finally think of myself for once in my sad sad life.

But I can't.

He's always there.

And I'm always hurting.

Hurting at how we can never be together.
Hurting how he's too good for me.
Hurting how he's talking to other people.
Hurting how he's having a better time when I'm not there.

In the end, he was just a love I could never have. A treasure I lead others to but I myself can never hold.

I've changed.

For him.

And for him to throw me away like I'm nothing. Like I'm a nobody to him. All he noticed is that Martha Kenny girl. And never me.

                                                                            -Bailey