Things We Lost in the Fire

42. Survival of the Fittest

In the car, Sam said, "All right. Exit's in three miles."

Dean frowned. "I still say this is a bad idea."

Penelope nodded. "Yeah. This is a terrible idea. It actually might be one of our worst."

Sam looked between them. "Dean, Penny, it was your idea, and it was the best one either of us had."

"We said it as a joke," Dean said.

"Bad joke -- somewhat decent idea," Penelope clarified.

Dean glanced at her. "Yeah, only because we got no magic spell, no book -- nothing on how to find a freakin' righteous bone."

"We can call Castiel again," Sam suggested.

"Dude, on my car, he showed up naked... covered in bees."

Penelope frowned. "Thanks for the visual."

Sam looked at his brother unsympathetically. "Yeah, I'm not really sorry I missed that."

A man spoke on the radio. "...The price of stock hit an all-time high following Roman's acquisition of Sucrocorp. I say Roman's a buy."

A woman answered, "Got to disagree with you there. I'm gonna call him a "wait and watch"."

"Come on, Lawshe. You're killing me."

"Hear me out. This is a new sector for Roman."

"That's right. He's holed up at Sucrocorp headquarters right now."

"So sit tight. This-"

Dean switched off the radio. "Holed up at Sucrocorp, huh?"

The three of them looked at each other.

They eventually reached a crypt.

Dean frowned. "Well, I guess if we can't find a righteous bone in a friggin' nunnery crypt."

"All right," Sam said. "Here -- listen to this. Sister Mary Benedict, uh, taught the learning-impaired and died at age 23."

"Eh, it's a little young. Find someone who's had time to corrupt."

Sam read from a large book. "Okay, well, there was, uh... here -- Sister Mary Eunice. Uh, fed the poor, became Mother Superior at age 60."

Penelope frowned. "Sounds political. Everyone knows power corrupts."

"Right. Um... listen to this -- Sister Mary Constant, 83 years of quiet, humble nun-like goodness. What do you two think?"

Penelope nodded as Dean said, "Wow. I want to be more righteous just reading this."

"Exactly," Sam and Penelope agreed.

Dean thought for a moment. "All right, well, I lay odds on her. Here we go." He walked towards a plaque bearing the name of Sister Mary Constant. "Well... let's bone this nun." Sam and Penelope made a face. "Sorry."

Dean smashed the coffin with a mallet.

At Rufus's cabin, Dean tossed a lit match into a bowl. Flames rose and died down. Dean, Sam and Penelope looked around.

Penelope raised a brow. "Is he trying to make a grand entrance or..."

Sam shook his head. "I don't know."

"Son of a bitch," she muttered. "He's standing us up."

"Well, we summoned him. Doesn't he kind of have to-"

Dean turned to his brother. "If Crowley wants to screw you, he'll screw you."

"Or... he can't come 'cause something went wrong."