Hello You

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Alex woke up with a smile on his face. He still had stubble rash from the friction of his and Miles' kiss. He could still feel Miles' tongue in his mouth, the passion of his kiss, the look of regret when he pulled away. Alex's grandmother always had a saying 'where there's life there's hope', and Miles had proven last night - even though he was drunk - that he still wanted Alex, so there was hope. Even if it took a year to prove to him that he was ready to commit, Alex would do whatever it took.

He looked at the empty side of the bed next to him and thought how lovely it would have been to wake up with Miles, then he could have put his morning wood to good use. He may have been hungover, with a pounding headache, but it didn't stop him getting horny thinking about last night and imagining what him and Miles might had done had they got to bed. Even the memory of that fleeting moment when Miles tugged on his hair was enough to excite him even more.

He was so horny, the urge to go and seek Miles out and persuade him to fuck was unbearable. Alex had no idea how Miles could be so strong-willed, knowing how amazing sex was between them, and they were stuck there in that house together, with very little to do except write songs and watch TV. They could be having fun in bed instead. It was a strange thing for Alex to have to do, reign in his desire for Miles and play it cool. Usually he would go all in, but he knew how hurt Miles had been by what he'd done with Louise, and it had made him cynical, which was a shame, because Miles' true nature was to be loving and affectionate and playful and trusting. He often reminded Alex of a big, friendly golden retriever!

Knowing his hard on wasn't going to go away, he grabbed his phone and watched the clip that always got him going. No one would ever guess what it was. There were thousands of sexy clips of Miles on YouTube – even now it pissed Alex off how he'd seemed to become even more beautiful after their split, as though heartbreak suited him. But it was none of these videos Alex went to when he wanted to get off. It was Miles singing Memories by Leonard Cohen at the Electric Proms in Liverpool in 2008. Maybe it was an associated memory response, but Alex would always get turned on by Miles singing the line about there being many parts of him to touch... Alex recalled getting a semi every time Miles sang it. They hadn't long been sleeping together and Alex found it difficult to stop thinking about it, even when they were on stage. Although to be fair, Miles had had the same effect on him when they'd been touring eight years later!

Alex hated watching himself back then, he looked about twelve, and Miles looked young too, but Alex had always thought he looked like that gorgeous sixth former everybody fancies because they're so cool and self-assured. Exactly how Alex had imagined Miles at school.

Alex had come before the song even finished. He watched the rest of it, cleaned himself up and laid back and lit a fag, still thinking about last night. Wanking had brought temporary relief, but there was still that burning need inside him for more. He wanted Miles to touch him and caress him, and he wanted to be fucked by him and then snuggle up in bed together talking about any old nonsense. He missed it so much. He had to get his man back. Normal tactics weren't working, he had to think outside the box – something that wasn't usually difficult for Alex. But times like this, Miles was like a brick wall.

He heard Miles get up and go into the bathroom and listened to him moving about. There was a time Alex could have joined him in there, no matter what he was doing. Nothing was taboo, they'd done everything in front of each other. But there was still this invisible barrier up between them. Last night Miles had told him he loved him, and he'd felt the passion in his kiss before common sense got the better of him. But the more he refused, the more determined Alex became. He knew that if Miles just gave in, it would change everything. Despite his protests, their fighting and fucking was an integral part of their relationship, and fighting was different to breaking up, and Alex had no intention of that happening again – no matter what it took.