Ghost- Enemies to Lovers

JEALOUSY

The sounds of angry stilettos echo throughout the hallway as you make your way back to the ballroom. Closing and opening your fist, you try to stop the tingling feeling in your finger tips begging you to hit something. Anything. You're normally a pro at hiding your emotions, so why were you having such a difficult time bottling them up now? Proceeds

You needed a release and you needed it now, whether it was anger or the release you were teased earlier, you didn't care.

Throwing open the doors to the ballroom, the party is in full swing again. It seems as if even more people have arrived since the fire alarm went off, making the dance floor a mix of bodies that were hard to decipher through. You don't bother looking for the boys, instead your eyes search for one man in particular. The one man Ghost couldn't kill tonight.

After a minute of searching you find him talking to another man with his back turned to you. Perfect. Your feet begin the walk across the dance floor, maneuvering between the bodies of people, when a hand pulls you to dance with them.

The protest died on your lips when your eyes made contact with Soap's. Worry lined his eyes making his body tenser than normal.

"What's wrong Y/n?"

You take a deep breathe before looking away, "Nothing, I'm fine." You were going to have to do a better job of reining in you anger if Soap could tell something was off.

"You look like you're about to murder someone. Fine shouldn't even be a word in your vocabulary right now. Something happened between you and gho-"

"Stop," you interrupt him, "Just stop."

You were done, fed up, and pissed the hell off. Frankly you didn't know who you were more mad at, Ghost or yourself. For once in your life, you almost threw caution to the wind and let yourself feel something. God you nearly submitted to him when he ordered you to move your hand between your legs. Then he made you stop and that adrenaline crash hit like a tsunami.

Years ago you swore to yourself that you would never let someone control you the way you were constantly controlled during your childhood. That's why you defied Ghost at ever possible turn, no matter how much your muscles screamed and begged for relief. You would never be at anyone's mercy ever again, not even your own. So that moment you pushed Ghost off and began fixing yourself, you realized you allowed yourself to be at someone's mercy, and what's even worse? You liked being at his. You liked the way he demanded things from you, the way that those demands made you feel alive, and that realization was the worst part of it all.

"I just want to help Y/n. I know you have trouble letting people in and that's okay. What you don't realize is that when you hurt we all hurt. You're always the steady boat that keeps everyone on this team afloat but there's a hole somewhere." His hand moves and his finger points towards your chest, where you're heart is "You're sinking, and when you sink we sink with you."

You never realized how much you meant to the team. You constantly had this idea in your head that they were fine before you and they'd be fine without you, if and when the time came. This was never suppose to be your home and maybe that's why you fought so hard for the boys to call base their home. If it couldn't be your home it should at least be theirs. Movie night and game night was just one of the many ways you tried to achieve that, but you would never let yourself forget that you would always be the outsider in the group. This was always temporary.

Looking at the man you wish had been you brother growing up, you manage to fake a smile,  "I'm just feeling some things I haven't in a while. I'm okay, I promise."

Liar. You were glass cracking down the seam and hoping some scotch tape would hold you together. A temporary fix at best.

Soap looks down at you while smiling back, "Its okay to feel things and if it gets too heavy give us some of the burden. We're big tough men, we can carry the weight."