mona lisa , chris sturniolo

7 | send me to jail

♫  i should hate you / gracie abrams  ♫
☆
i should hate you, i feel stupid
after all this time, i still get disappointed
i would bend back to you if you left the door open

🍊 🍊 🍊

| real life |

tw: verbal abuse from mother, mentions of deceased father

real life

"Shall we sit on the patio? It's a lovely day out," Mom's voice is smooth like silk, but the way her eyes analyze me feel like daggers cutting into my skin.

"Sounds good," I force a smile, following her through the pristine house to the back door.

"You look tired. I assume you're still in denial about failing your one exam, but how did the other ones go?" Mom questions as we settle in the cushioned chairs. The back of the house overlooks a large grassy backyard that I doubt she has ever set foot on. I only lived in this house for a year during my grade twelve year, but I spent the majority of my time in the yard, whether that meant throwing a football with Ethan, painting in the grass, or playing some sort of game with friends.

Gritting my teeth at her passive aggressive words, I force myself to take a deep breath before speaking. "Exams were mostly okay," I hesitate for a moment. Rip off the bandaid, B. "But I think I may have failed two of them. Which means I failed those classes."

Mom's eyes narrow and she carefully crosses one leg over the other. "Did you study? You should've read that book with study tips that I gave you. Are you even trying?"

Here we go. "I did read the book, and I found it very helpful. And I've been working really hard all semester, but these two classes proved to be very challenging and I struggled to keep up, no matter how much time I spent studying," I choose my words carefully, trying to lower the chances of me feeling absolutely shitty about myself after our conversation.

Mom hums in thought, her nails taping a careful rhythm on the leg of her chair in an attempt to hide her building frutration. "Was it because you're dating Matthew and spent too much time with him instead of doing schoolwork?"

Frustration rises in my chest and I close my eyes for a second to recenter my thoughts. Easy, B. Getting upset will only make it worse. Be calm and rational. "Matt and I are not dating. And the triplets live in LA most of the time. They've only been in Boston for, like, four weeks so far this year."

Mom rolls her eyes, a surprising crack in her polished demeanour. "Well, there had to be some other boy. You wouldn't have failed for no reason."

"There was no boy. I studied hard, mom. I just wasn't cut out for some of these classes, I guess."

She scoffs, leaning back in her seat. "That's bullshit, Brynlee. I've told you, I'm not paying for your education for you to slack off and party every weekend."

"Mom, I swear to God, I spent every weekend studying." My heart rate rises a notch and I feel my composure slipping. "Do you know how many times I bailed on friends to study? I study more than most people I know!"

"Well, it's obviously not enough," Mom sighs, a sound that is full of disappointment. "Can you retake the classes this summer? It's your only solution, really."

Holy shit, this is not happening. "Actually," I cough slightly, forcing my shoulders back from where they had rounded, "I am still going to LA for the summer, and I will figure out a time to retake the classes next year."