Nine Years Ago
16 year old me: Rashad I love you , I'm gone marry you.. we're gonna have a big wedding after we have that we'll celebrate thanksgiving and I'll tell my parents that we having a baby-
I was ranting when Rashad cut me off with-
16 year old Rashad: Kids?
Me: yes .. you don't want kids?
I said with a sad look on my face because I always thought I'd be a great nurturing mother to a beautiful child when I got older.
Rashad: look I love you but I'm just not seeing kids in my.. o- o- our future baby..
Rashad shuddered to explain his reasoning for not wanting to procreate.
Me: oh.. well I guess we will not have kids then we'll just .. just travel the world!
So we did it .. two years later we graduated high school at the top of our class and loved on each other every step of the way.. or so I was loving him. We travel to different states in the United States first. We traveled to California, New York, New Jersey, Texas, Mississippi, Georgia, Indiana, Puerto Rico, and we also had a fun ass trip to Disney World in Hawaii. When we started traveling the world, we went to Japan, Armenia, Brazil, France , North Korea, and the best place was Africa, specifically Egypt.
I felt home when I was there , I feel that was the happiest trip we've ever been on.
I kept photos, videos, and diary entries from back then til now and I still have them. They don't mean a thing to me now. They mean NOTHING. Ooo I'm so mad I'm knocked up by this abusive ass nigga! This isn't the first time he's knocked me up, but this time he hasn't said anything about an abortion. I want to keep my baby no matter what. I'm glad he hasn't said anything I'm afraid because last time I got an abortion it was so sad I lost my baby my baby was a 6 weeks pregnant.. this is when everything changed.
Rashad had ever been so mean to me before I got pregnant. This was the problem he thought that I did it on purpose, and that I was trying to ruin his life.. I think him choosing himself over his baby did something to him too. It doesn't justify his actions though. I forgave him and forgave him and forgave him still my heart bleeds.
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Hey! I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much or more than the last one, it is a filler but you can kind of get some more insight on how the main character feels and the background of this toxic relationship.. should I give the main character a name or keep her name secret? Find out what I decide to do in the next chapters! 💋
