The Chronicles of Writing

Christmas, summer, and burning out

Turns out and as we had realized I have this amazing ability to overestimate myself, actually no, scratch that, it wasn't overestimation as much underestimation of my degree.

Who knew studying in STEAM is difficult... (*Rolling my eyes, at myself*)

Now jokes aside, it hasn't been that bad, I have a decent amount of free time, or I would have it if I ever let myself study, but apparently, I am also incapable of staying in a program. I thrive in chaos, so let me tell you how I embraced my chaos.

First of all, about the Perfect Promise sequel: I have it. It's very much written, and it has been for a year or so. Honestly, I had no idea when I wrote that book, it feels like a fever dream. I started thinking about it in the process of editing and uploading the PP book, then I started scribbling down my ideas and most of it was written in one sitting. Don't ask me how, I have no idea. Then another part of it in another session. The only problem: the ending.

From a point and after I was doubting whether Winter and Cameron should even end up together. And it feels weird as a writer to doubt your main couple, but I had some good points on why they shouldn't. A friend of mine in the other hand, completely disagreed with them, and wanted their love to continue forever. Now, what did I chose to do, you will find at out with the sequel.

It's a summer sequel. Beach, sun, swimming, it has it all, so I wanted to upload it on summertime, which I did not do (obviously), because holidays tend to consume me whole. Basically, I... forgot. I was running around spending time with loved ones, saying my goodbyes before I moved, and just did not even think about the sequel. Well, I ain't doing that mistake again. So the sequel is gonna come out in like a month or so, so expect it then, I'm not gonna announce any dates or anything, I'm just gonna upload it on a random day (probably night).

Now writing in general... I did a great mistake, and that's that I tried to take it seriously. What do I mean by that? I wanna write fantasy. Don't get me wrong, I love reading and writing romance, but fantasy (with romance, don't worry) fills my heart and blows my mind in a whole different level.

I tried to make a program for myself, to plan our my books, to learn from other writers and authors and just by thinking about all that and planning it, I burned out. Of course I had exams at the same time, and because I can't seem to be able to do one thing at a time, everything felt even worse. So here I am, trying to get back on track, two weeks behind on schoolwork and without having written a word in months.

As I said before I thrive in chaos, and I got tired of pretending that I can work with a plan. When I plan my day from before, just with the stress of having to follow that plan, makes me do nothing. I am incapable of following direct orders, even if I gave them to myself. It's the same reason that I'm horrible at cooking, and should probably not be allowed within ten meters of a kitchen. So screw that...

It doesn't mean of course that I don't have stuff to do, but instead of a day plan I make lists. Stuff I want to do within a day, a week, a month and that works better for me.

For planning writing, I know that it's better if I do, but I am -as previously stated- incapable of doing so, so my decision for that is to write when I feel like it.

For example tonight, I have to study, but I can't study with no people around me. Instead of getting annoyed at myself for not studying, I am going to write. Ironically, those are the moments I write best, when I have other stuff to do.

So again, screw it. I'm embracing the chaos and as long as I stuck to the general plan that is my checklist, I can do it without the prefect structured timetable and the strict deadlines. Or at least I really really hope so.

Also, I am going to start uploading another book. I don't know when, but I do know, I won't be uploading with a schedule for it, it is simply for enjoyment. I want to remember what I love most about writing, and stop taking myself so seriously.

I'm 18 for fuck's sake, I'm not supposed to know everything. ;)

And with that, I say goodbye,

Chaooo