Countdown (Denki Angst)

A mistake in history, that is what 'I' must be

Title inspired by a Project Sekai song 'I nandesu' (Ami's English version) 

3rd Person POV 

Once Denki got back to the dorms he went straight for his room and slammed it once he got inside. He started breaking down immediately and didn't know what to do. He couldn't take this much amount of pain. Why does nobody care about him? 

"I just want someone to love me..." Denki sobs as he breaks down on the floor, staining his rug with tears. It was getting harder to breathe and Denki realized he started hyperventilating. 

I can't control my breathing! Denki thought as he continued hyperventilating until his vision became blurry and he fell unconscious. 

Once Denki finally wakes up he looks outside to see it has already become late night. He looks over at his alarm to read the time, 9:28 pm. Nobody has even called him down for dinner, well what was he supposed to expect at this point? Denki went over to his bed and reached under it to grab the camera. He carefully set it up before proceeding to click the record button.

So, it's the 3rd day and I don't know what to do anymore. At first I thought things were going to get better when people talked to me, but boy was I wrong when I went to class. Everyone made fun of me and had such low opinions of me! They don't know how much I studied for the test to still fail, it's so hard with ADHD and dyslexia!!! I'm not allowed to tell anyone about it but it hurts so much to think that everyones' opinions is that I was just goofing off, is it so hard to think that I work hard? And get this, my teacher, the teacher I looked up to said that he gave up with me. I really must be that useless for even him to give on me. It's okay because at this rate nobody in the class will have to worry about me in 29 days. All will be fixed then and I'll no longer be such a waste of space in others lives. 

Denki smiles lightly as he says the last few sentences and ends the recording. He puts the camera back under his bed and climbs onto his bed and falls asleep. What is the point of eating anyways if I'm going to die soon anyways, might as well help with the process. 

The Next Day (28 days left)

Denki woke up to his alarm clock in the morning but didn't move after offing it. He had no energy to get up, he just wanted to lay in bed and wallow in his self-depreciating thoughts. He could let sleep overtake him again or be consumed by all his negative thoughts. Considering how he couldn't fall back asleep, the latter seemed like the correct option. Soon enough he started hearing everyone outside getting ready to leave for class, since nobody came to check on him it seemed like he could just stay in his room, if Aizawa asks he'll just tell that he wasn't feeling well. 

Self-harm warning (skip to next bolded area)

Denki put his arms above his face to see his cuts. After looking at them, it looked so tempting to do it once again. He bent down and got the box with the blade out. He slowly opened it to reveal to shiny metal blade telling him to pick it up. He grabs the blade with shaky hands and puts it up against his wrist and- 

SLICE

Blood starts trickling down his arm as Denki looks at the cut in awe, the familiar happy feeling coming back. He starts cutting his arm more as his whole arm gets marked with cuts and blood. Denki doesn't realize that he fell into a trance while cutting until he started feeling dizzy. He looked back down at his arm and saw how messed up it had become. His blood stained his blankets and there was not a single place that wasn't covered in blood from his wrist to his elbow. He stumbled out of his bed and slowly made his way to the bathroom. Once he arrived there, he opened the cabinets and immediately started looking for a first aid kid. He found gauze and quickly covered his arms in it. People always say that it's good to disinfect the cuts but honestly Denki could care less, what was the point of it. 

End of Self-harm

After bandaging his arms he went back to his room and laid back on his bed. Denki fell asleep soon after and woke up to the sound of banging on his door. He groaned as he got up in pain now registering the pain in his arm. He looked outside to see that it had already become dusk, he almost slept for a whole day. "Who is it?" Denki asked.

"It's me dumbass, Aizawa wants to know why the hell you weren't in class today " Bakugou grumbled.  Damn, why did it always have to be Bakugou who would find him. 

"I wasn't feeling well.." Denki replied hoping Bakugou could hear. 

He heard a tsk and a "just making up an excuse to skip" as angry footsteps were heard going away his door. Damn, that kind of hurt but Denki didn't have the energy to really care. Speaking of which, when was the last Denki ate? He really didn't feel like eating because it would make him stay alive but he knew if he didn't eat, he wouldn't be able to focus during class and that would make Mr. Aizawa even more disappointed in him than he already was. 

A week later (21 days left) 

It's been around a week since Denki had the interaction with Bakugou outside his door. It hasn't gotten better to say the least, instead it all started going more downhill. People were starting to ignore his existence completely and when he was brought up it was always to make fun of him and how 'useless' he is. He also started to notice that his desk had insults scribbled over it. 

USELESS

DUMB

ONLY A CHARGER

WASTE OF SPACE

There was much more and drawings that made Denki almost tear up. Sometimes he would find his homework stolen or torn up in his bag, which he had no idea how others even could get their hands on. A while later some people starting doing it in front of him and starting bullying him. People would take his graded test paper as soon as it was graded from his desk before he could even interfere. They would display his grade to the whole class and they would flip through the pages to see all his mistakes and everyone would make fun of the simplest mistakes he made. He thought Aizawa would at least try to step in but he didn't even seem to care as he crawled back into his sleeping bag to take a nap. 

Denki couldn't take it any longer and ran to the nearest bathroom. He started breaking down once again unable to live with how his life has became. The bullying was starting to become too much and there was only so much left he could endure before he breaks. Even if he breaks, he has to hold out for the next 21 days, he has to give them a chance even if it seems like all they want is for him to die right now. 

Once Denki wipes his tears he leaves the bathroom and sees a group of students outside talking to each other. Once they notice his presence, their faces become clouded with disgust and he sees them start whispering while staring at him. What a pain the rest of the 21 days were going to be, Denki wished he could just fast forward in time and be able to kill himself. 

Once Denki got back to the classroom he was taken aback when he heard crying inside. Denki peeked his head in slightly hoping nobody would catch him to see Midoriya crying and Aizawa and the rest of the class trying to comfort him. 

What happened...

Word Count: 1346 

I got a chapter out for "Am I the problem" yesterday and one for "Countdown" today!!! I'm happy with the progress for now so hopefully this will due for at least the next 3 weeks until finals are over. I might get time in between to write another chapter for each story (I'll probably do it when I feel down) but no promises! ^_^