The Fallen Idol And The Artist

Chapter 21

APOLOGIES FOR THE WAIT EVERYONE. THE PASSED FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN HITTING ME HARD. A LOT OF IRL THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING ON AND I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO UPDATE. I KNOW HOW I WANT THIS STOTY TO FULLY END. THE ENDING CHAPTER'S BASIC NOTES ARE ALL WRITTEN DOWN. I JUST NEED TO FINISH THE OTHER CHAPTERS TO LEAD TO THE END. THE HARDEST PART HONESTLY. BUT I'LL GET THERE. I'LL GET THERE~ ANYWAY TIME TO CONTINUE.
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Xie Lian's eyes stare ahead into a void of darkness. A place that he often found himself to be in during his rest. However, there was something different about this dream. There was no noise, no images, nothing but silence. It felt somewhat refreshing. For once his nightmares are able to be kept at bay. He bathed in this silence until a jingle chimes through the void that surrounded him. It was a sound that was far too familiar to him. From the corner of his eye, he could see the flash of a silver butterfly. He turns his head to get a better view, only to see the creature change its form into the figure of a young man. A very familiar young man.

'San Lang....'

Laying in bed beside him with his arms firmly wrapped around him—was the same young man drowning in his own shame and regret. His cheeks were fairly stained by dried tears. He had very little memory of the previous night, but he could faintly recall the sound of his name being called by a quivering voice. A voice that belonged to the one that he never wanted to hurt. His eye glances down to his partner, taking in the number of marks that were now laid upon his upper torso, with his scars also in clear view. The bandages that were used to cover them had also been torn, and the only thing left to cover them were the tattoos designed as chains. These wounds were merely reminders for Xie Lian. They were there to remind him of his past and the tragedy that befell him after.

San Lang slowly lifts a shaky hand to Xie Lian's cheek, afraid that a single touch could now ruin him. And yet the smallest brush of his finger, brings a small wave of warmth to his lovers' body. Instead of him attempting to move away, like he feared—he had instead moved closer to lean into his touch. The scene only crushes his heart even more. It baffled him. How could he respond in such a way to someone who violated him during the night? He sighs and chooses to leave the bed first.

He needed a shower, some coffee, and something to shove a fist into, otherwise there was no way he would be able to rid himself of the rage that was needing to be released.

Not too long after he had showered, did Xie Lian finally begin to awaken. He stirred just a bit to feel that the bed side next to him was cold and empty. Upon realizing this, his body shoots up in a panic, before relaxing as he sees San Lang sitting at the edge of the bed with his fingers delicately moving to tie a strand of his hair with braids and a single red bead.

"San Lang..."

He freezes for a moment before speaking, "Gege..."

"Are you okay?"

San Lang finishes his braid before turning to him with a faint smile.

"I'm alright. I've asked Yin Yu to retrieve some clothing for you, they're in the bathroom. Go ahead and clean up. I'll wait in the office."

Without another word, he stands up and walks out the room without even looking at him directly.

"San.....Lang...?"

By the time he had called out to him, he had already left the room leaving Xie Lian confused and some what hurt.

'Did I make the wrong choice...?'

During the previous night, he volunteered to join him in bed just so he could help him ease through the drug's affects. He expected for the night to be long, and expected for him to completely ravish him whole. Yet despite his drugged state, San Lang was gentle in his approach. Whenever Xie Lian showed a hint of hesitation or fear, San Lang would stop and gently massage small circles into certain areas of his body. Areas that carried the worst of his trauma, and it would calm him into assured bliss. It was as if he was replacing those horrific memories, printing his own touches while erasing the past. Even towards the end of his final climax, his partner held him in a position that allowed for him to be at his most comfortable. Even though the drug carried him into a red state of nirvana, it couldn't stain the love and loyalty written into his heart. Because of this, Xie Lian could only count his night as a win and not a loss. And while he was confident in his stance, the same couldn't be said for San Lang.