Virgin Tales

Prologue

"Ugh I give up! Why can't you come?" I screamed in frustration at the reflection of Cherry in the mirror. She wasn't fabulous, and neither did she fulfill her purpose. Some might say she was average, but I thought she was way below that standard. I mean, she couldn't even perform the function God created her for!

"Why can't you ever give me what I want? Is that so much to ask of you, oh, royal one? Why can't you be a va-genie and make my wishes come true when I rub you?" I continued to stare at her in disappointment, wondering what was wrong with me.

At first glance, she appeared like a normal body part but the only substance that ever exited was urine. I am a twenty-two year old girl and I have never experienced an orgasm in my entire life. And trust me, it's not because I haven't tried.

After viewing a range of extremely explicit videos, there's barely any moisture 'down there' and when it's actually soaked, not more than ten minutes in and I feel bored, like I'm doing some sort of chore. On the odd occasion that I decide to ignore that emotional state and attempt to be interested, my mind just can't focus.

At this point, I'm thinking of what to eat for the next three meals. Wendy's or KFC? Hmm, tough one.

I read that the art of self pleasure lies in the fantasy but apparently, I lack imagination. Epic failure is my life and in my head lies dust and cobwebs. My thoughts travel to the most random of things and no matter how hard I try to picture Nick Bateman kissing my neck, it just doesn't work.

Fries or coleslaw? Definitely a biscuit!

The ever-so-informative Google was not helpful at all when searching 'how do I know if I've had an orgasm?' because all the responses entail something along the lines of 'if you have to ask what it feels like, then you've never had one'. These bitches who like to show off.

Some 'symptoms' are familiar, however the end result, 'intense, toe curling, back arching feeling of pleasure and relaxation', yeah, I don't know the meaning of those words. I have to admit, there's some clenching, but following that, nothing. Nothing like I read in the books. Nada. Zilch. I lay there wondering, "What the hell was that? Am I done? Can I eat now?" instead of the regular post coital state of "That was amazeballs!"

So, even if I have the animalistic urge to grind on a penis, which rarely ever happens, it ends in disappointment and a major blow to my self esteem. That's why I avoid boyfriends and any male contact whatsoever.

If I can't please myself, how can I ever please someone else?

Such is the nature of my life.