Matt Sturniolo one shots

The roof

TW
Suicidal thoughts

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Matt always has been the most quiet out of him and his brothers. Everyone said it, his parents, friends, classmates and even teachers. It wasn't hard to pick up on it was quite obvious. When Chris was cracking a joke Matt was hiding in his shadow. He liked to be looked over it was almost reassuring. Knowing not many people knew him so intimately.

Anxiety was a big thing for him stopping him going to school most of his high school time. Now at 20 he regularly goes to therapy although he argues that it doesn't do anything. He goes because he has to. The last 6 months Matt was fighting his own mental battle that he kept hidden from his two brothers.

Mainly because their YouTube career had seriously skyrocketed and who was he to complain when he has money coming out of his ears as well as upwards of 3 million fans. He felt ungrateful as if someone else deserved this platform and not him. His brothers took the fame in strides like making appearances and interacting with the fans in person and social media.

Matt tends to keep off social media and stay in more since he can't go out without being recognised anymore.

His obsession with tall buildings and platforms started around the same time. When filming a video where Chris did a front flip off their friends roof into a pool. Matt remembers looking over the edge fighting a urge to take a few steps forward. No into the pool but rather the concrete next to it. He didn't tell anyone about his thoughts he knows they were suicidal thoughts.

Matt found himself on the roof of they three story tall house most nights after Chris's and Nick had gone to bed.

Matt pulled open his bedroom window pulling himself onto the brick roof like he usually would. Habit. He filmed a car video with his brothers today. It was fine, he was fine. Everything seemed monotone so much had happened in the past few months he didn't have time to take it all in. He moved to the edge of the roof his hands clutching around the edge, letting his body lean over looking down at the footpath below.

From this height he would definitely die.

All he would have to do is let go of the edge give himself a push. His heard raced like it did every night. The thoughts were constant when he was alone it consumed him.

Tonight felt different something about the way his heart raced but a sense of confusion that clouded his brain before felt clearer now. Without even thinking his body leaned further forward hands loosening their grip on the brick roof.

He closed his eyes letting the cold wind hit his face. He wanted to let go.

"Matt what are you doing?"

Matt's eyes jerk open and he flings himself back from the edge of the roof, looking behind him. He sees Chris racing through the window to get to him grabbing at his wrist harshly.

"Come inside," Chris looks down at Matt pulling him away from the edge and guiding him to his bedroom window. Slowly Matt climbs back into his room walking and sitting on his bed. The second he is back in his room his chest tightens at the realisation of what he was about to do and Chris saw it all.

"I just wanted to feel the wind on my face, Chris." Matt lies as he locks eyes with Chris for the first time watching his brothers every move as he shakes his head making his way to sit next to Matt on the bed.

"Why were you so close to the edge?" Chis shakes his head resting his hand on his brothers shoulder. Matt shrugs his shoulders avoiding eye contact.

"If I didn't come were you going to jump?" Matt feels Chris hold his breath as the question leaves his mouth. He doesn't know how to respond because was he? If Chris didn't come would he be laying on the pavement in the morning for someone to find?

"I couldn't have you see me like that." Matt's confession brushes on the thought that it wasn't just fresh air he was there for.

"So if I wasn't the one to find you, you would do it?" Chris asks. Matt feels the eyes watching him when all he can answer is a pathetic shrug. Chris sucks in a breath eyes never leaving Matt's face.

"I feel tired." Matt's small confession is enough to confirm what Chris was dreading.

"As in you want it to end?" Chris asks, it's not in a condescending way it's in a desperate way. He doesn't want Matt to confirm his suspicions.

"Yes."

Silence plagues the room for a swift moment before Chris wraps his whole body around Matt nursing his face in his neck letting out a quiet sob.

"I'm sorry." Matt looks at his as Chris lifts his face wiping his eyes. He shakes his head quickly pain filling him at how sad his brother looks.

"No, not your fault. Never your fault." Chris keeps eyes contact with Matt making sure he understands the extreme of his words.

"I have trouble handling the fame. I want my head to be quiet." Matt's words sit thick in the room. You can see it in a Chris's face the way his heart is slowly breaking, his eyes searching Matt's hoping to see him lying.

"I will help your head be quiet Matt, anything to keep you off that roof." Chris eyes are glassed over his hands holding Matt's shoulders hoping that if he holds tight enough he won't leave.

Matt sits in silence his stomach clenching and his head finally clearing understanding just how much Chris must be hurting. You can see it the way his younger brother wants to be mad, he wants to scream at him and hit some sense into him. Matt would do the same.

"Would you do it again?" Chris let's out a sniffle as Matt clenches his jaw and looks away from brothers gaze. Matt's reaction is an answer in its self.

"Fuck." Chris pulls away and puts his head in his hands gripping at his hair. Matt feels awful, seeing his brother react this way because of him, he reaches out clasping his hand around one of his wrists.

"Please don't tell Nick." Matt cringes at his voice sounding so pathetic. He doesn't expect it when his brother yanks away his wrist pushing Matt back as he stands up suddenly and Matt can sense his entire mood shift.

"I've pulled you off a roof and you only care about if Nick is going to find out. Are you serious Matt?" Chris is angry hands flaring up starting his brother down while shaking his head.

"No Chris please-" Matt pushes himself off the bed standing up trying to reach out to him.

"I can't believed you. If you killed yourself I wouldn't be able to live." Chris finally stops dancing around the topic and gives it to him straight. Matt's stomach drops at the confession feeling sick at his words.

Matt has thought about how his brothers would react, crying, funeral, a few sad fans. He never really thought that hard into it maybe because he refused to believe that he would actually ever do it. Today almost proved him wrong.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, I'm sorry. We just need to sort you out okay." Chris runs his hands over his face letting out a sigh before taking a step forward his arms reaching out wrapping around Matt. They stay like that for a while both letting their tears silently fall.

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Should I do a part 2 of Nick finding out?

Also please leave requests and I will write them!! Any requests you have I need ideas <3