01.25

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"I know that there are some songs that hurt too much to listen to and yet you play them and turn off the lights and cry until you fall asleep. I know that you're in love with your own sadness, you're in love with the way it clings to you and never seems to leave. I can see it in your eyes, the way it hurts to be alone but it's become almost comforting to you. I know because I fell in love with my sadness the same way you fell in love with yours and it probably would have killed me if I had not ended things with it. I know you like to stay in your room with the door locked and I know you like to avoid texts from your friends and I know how fucking hard it is to pull yourself together and get out of bed. I have been there and sometimes it is still hard to put my clothes on and brush my teeth and walk out the front door. I know that you picture yourself jumping off a twenty story building and I know that thought can sometimes almost soothe you. I want to tell you that you don't have to be with your sadness forever. You can break up with your sadness and move on. I know how hard it is at first, I know how hard it is to try and live without your sadness but I promise you that it will only get easier. I wake up in the morning and my sadness isn't holding onto me and it doesn't hurt anymore."

for my friend

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