The Night I Flew

Chapter 13

Where was he? He always got to work early. I never had to wait for him. Maybe he was just running late. I thought, trying not to overthink too much. There was no telling when he would get here.

"Looking for someone?"I heard a voice behind me but it wasn't Alex's. I turned to find my father. "No, just simply wondering why the stable boy isn't here yet."I tried to explain. "I doubt that seeing as I found this waiting in the garden bed under your room. He held up the letter to Alex.

I didn't know how to explain but I didn't care much about explaining myself, I was more concerned with where Alex was and what my father had done. "Where is he?"I asked, looking him in the eye. He didn't answer but he did something more unsettling than anything he could've possibly said. He smiled. Not a genuine smile but a smirk, as if he had defeated me and maybe he had.

"Your little stable boy had an accident last night. Before he left, he upset the horse and got a nasty kick to the head. Very tragic but inevitable."He never lost that awful smirk. His words didn't seem real. He was lying. Surely he was lying.  Yes that was it. He wanted me to believe he was gone. Dead. He was tricking me. He was just sitting at home playing with Goldie and talking with his family right now. It wasn't true.

I ran past him, not caring about consequences later. I ran and I didn't stop until I arrived at his house. Surely he was still alive. The flowers were still blooming and the house still looked as cozy as ever. That gave me comfort. Little did I know that the exterior was simply hiding the awful secret that was waiting for me inside.

I opened the heavy door I had opened so many times but this time was different. He wasn't there to welcome me with one of his loving hugs. No one was smiling. They were all sitting in the living room as if nothing were wrong. He wasn't here. He was supposed to be here. 

I finally looked at Holly, who no longer had her welcoming smile. One look at her and I knew. He was dead. He was dead and he was never coming back. I broke down. Tears just fell and fell and then I fell. I was there in the middle of his house, balling my eyes out. At some point they had come to comfort me but their touch didn't quite reach me. I could feel them touching me but it seemed world away. It was just me and my pain. All alone.

I reached up to find my necklace. Our first Christmas. I clutched that necklace like a life-force. The only thing keeping me alive in that moment. My chest suddenly felt heavy, like there was a thousand pounds on it. I couldn't breathe. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears and my hands became shaky. Was I dying?

Suddenly everything went black. Maybe I was dead. At least if I was dead I had some hope of seeing him again. I heard a muffled voice and I opened my eyes. "attack...cause...rest" I only heard bits of what the man was saying. When my vision cleared and I could hear properly I said, "Where am I?"I saw Holly sitting next to me. 

"Holly?"I asked, sitting up. I hadn't realized until now that I was lying down. "Oh Sweety. You had a panic attack. The doctor here says it was caused by the shock. You're going to be just fine with some rest."She grabbed my hand. "Shock?"I asked, forgetting everything before I passed out. "Ana. Look at me."She demanded, looking me in the eye. "He's gone. I'm so so sorry."She sounded like she was going to cry. It all came back in a flood.

I sat there, silently falling apart again. A tear escaped my eye. I assumed she saw the pain in my eyes because she hugged me. I was wrong. His hugs were better. They were more warm and comforting and protective. Her hugs were nothing compared to his but I still hugged back.  I hadn't noticed the doctor leaving the room, or Alex's siblings entering the room.

I didn't go back home that night. I went back to Alex's home and I slept in his bed. It was still light outside when we got to the house. How dare the Sun? Didn't it know that my world was falling apart? Didn't it know that all the wonderful things in the world had left with him? It wasn't until I was lying there that I thought about what my father had said. The horse? Did he mean Ash? Ash would never do that, let alone Alex. Ash loved Alex. Then all the pieces clicked into place. It wasn't an accident at all. He did this. My father did this.

That monster of a man didn't want Alex getting in the way of his little arranged marriage so he had him killed. I didn't sleep that light but I thought of a plan. I said goodbye to all of the Solannes and went back to the house. He was there. Waiting. "Where did you run off to last night?"He asked, as if it were a normal day. I didn't answer him but instead walked past him and up to my room.

"I asked you a question!"He roared when I got to the top of the stairs. I turned to look down at him. "And I ignored you. My whereabouts are none of your concern. Now, I will be in my room and you will leave me be!"I shouted back and made my way to my room quickly. I glanced at my mother's room from across the hall before I entered my room. Two. Two people I would never recover from losing.

I went straight to the box of letters from Alex and brought them to my mother's room. I hadn't been in here for over two years. I looked over to the desk on the other side of the room, still filled with papers. I walked over to the bed. It, like everything else in this room hadn't been touched since she died. I sat on the bed, opening the box of letters. I looked at them more carefully now.

I was almost afraid the words would fall off the page and be gone forever. I studied his handwriting down to the way he dotted his I's and looped his g's. I would never receive another letter from him. Ever. That somehow was an even more unsettling thought than never hugging him again. I curled up on my mother's bed, clutching that box, through the night. I cried more then I had ever cried that night.