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Your head is a star between my hands, the world grows green again when you smile.
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The thirtieth of November, the month is in the sign of Sagittarius. That explains a lot about her character. But the question that always interests me due to my curious nature is how it is possible for someone born in the winter months to be so attached to summer and all the charms of the warm sun rays that makes the freckles on the face completely take center stage whenever I see her under the most lovely sunny days.
I remember my twenty-first birthday, it was only three years after the de Luca family moved into our neighborhood. Little Carmen was not thrilled with the cake I chose for a small gathering with family and friends; I remember teasing her about it years later. (Orange chocolate cake became her favorite cake, in complete secrecy of course)
After that lunchtime gathering, it was left to James and I alone, with intense agreement on how to spend a crazy evening. After all, I'm from Vegas, of course I went to the casino and tried the magic of partying in Vegas; I didn't like it, but the award I received then remained in my memory. Thank God that you only turn 21 once in your life, although I wish I had stayed in that period forever.
There's a party tonight at the house across the street, according to the text I got the night after Thanksgiving, the birthday has already started. The problem was that I was no longer in Las Vegas, I returned back to Los Angeles for business matters and new projects while waiting for the filming of the criminal minds series.
I probably won't forgive myself for knowingly missing her big and important age, I definitely won't ever be able to forgive myself for that. I know she won't either. My heart tells me that she will definitely forgive me, that she is the one who always forgives such things - my mind knows that in this way I will end up losing her before I actually win her. Everything was fine.
Carmen is a girl who deserves love and all the best in the world, but what's the point if I'm not a big enough man to do it already, but I do everything half-heartedly. I half take her somewhere, half kiss her, half make love to her... It's always half, never whole.
