𝐸𝑥𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝐸𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑊𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑇ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠❤︎

L𝑖𝑒𝑠 & 𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

I am a liar.
Why do I lie when people ask me "how are you?"
Is it because I wish for them to not worry, most likely.
I wasn't one for opening up.
I'll just wait until I crack, I never did care how bad my mental health actually was.
Is that a problem?
Probably is to be honest.
I hate sleep, I hate eating, I hate being awake but most of all I hate myself.
Should I go to therapy? I wonder.
Isn't it my fault she did that to me?
Probably.
It's unusual for a girl to touch another girl that way, so I'm being overdramatic, like always.
Did you know how hard I try?
I think I'm slowly giving up, giving in.
That's strange.
Why am I like this?
Why?
Why?
Never-ending questions.
Did I deserve it all?
It's so strange, I can express my feelings on paper or a screen but not in actual words.
I suffer with addictions, I imagine others do, but do the people who don't know how hard it truly is?
So many questions.
Yet so little answers.
I lie about when I do and don't eat, I lie about what I think of myself, I lie about how long I've been clean, I lie about my life.
Yet I never lie about whether or not I love someone, miss them, care about them, wish I'd see them, or wants them to vent to me.
I will always put others first.
I wonder if anyone would put me first?
Maybe they would?
That'd be nice.
So many questions.
So little answers.
Maybe i talk too much, maybe I'm too quiet, maybe I'm ugly, maybe I'm pretty.
What am I?
Am I real??
Questions.
Lies.