Sunbeam

12) Clean break

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to meet the woman Ada is suggesting," Theresa says.

"I don't get why Bea was encouraging it," Kezia replies, "is this a test? Because last time she found out I was with someone else, her head almost imploded. Or is it that she really doesn't love me? Or is it that she truly feels she'll never be able to admit how she feels that she's just willing to watch me date other people? What is it?"

"If she's telling you to move on, perhaps you should at least try," Theresa responds.

"I don't want to," Kez shrugs, "I'm in love with her, Tess, I don't want to just let it go that easily. And it wouldn't be fair to whoever Ada spoke to if I went on a date with them, knowing I am completely hung up on Bea. I can't get her out of my head, Tess, it's bad. She's driving me fucking crazy."

"Then tell Ada the truth, that you like somebody else," Tess says.

Kez scoffs, "I can't tell her I'm in love with Bea, they'd both fucking kill me. She doesn't want people to know, especially not Ada."

"Ada can't really talk, can she? She's been fucking Tommys old bestfriend," Tess says.

"How'd you know about that?" Kez asks.

"I live near Freddie. I've seen her come and go from his apartment," Theresa states, "doesn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. You Shelby's seem to have a thing for your siblings bestfriend. It's actually a little concerning."

"If Tommy knew about Freddie, he'd get Fred back in town with the sole intention of killing him. Ada wouldn't be as dramatic, but I definitely run the risk of her never speaking to me again," Kezia groans, "they'd both see it as an offence against them. Like we've done it to get back at them for something we didn't even know they thought we were holding a grudge for."

"Would you think the same?" Theresa asks.

"No, those boys don't know how to keep it in their pants, how do you think John's ended up with four kids?" Kez responds, "besides, it's really none of my business what they've done with my friends."

"You're acting like you've got an abundance of friends," Theresa jokes.

"I had friends before you," Kezia says, "and most of them ended up sleeping with one of my brothers, as I said I didn't have an issue with it. Although the girls tended to get butt-hurt when my brothers then didn't want a relationship with them, I didn't see the point in getting involved, but they'd get so mad at the entire family, blame me, then I'd never see them again."

"So you lost friends because of it and you just don't care?" Theresa asks.

"It's not like they were close friends," Kez shrugs, "only really made friends to please Pol, she always thought I was a lonely, miserable kid, I just wanted to prove I could make friends if I wanted to, but I didn't really need them to be my friend, didn't grow any sort of emotional attachment to them."

"Do you have an emotional attachment to me? Do you miss me when I'm not with you?" Theresa asks, intrigued, "would you consider me a close friend? Did you miss me during the war? When you thought I was dead?"

Kezia thinks for a moment, "I don't know what I'd classify you as. I know that I can talk openly with you, that you'll be honest in return. I know that when you left to be a nurse, I felt the same way I did as when my brothers left. After consideration, I'd have to say yes, to all of your questions."

"You sure do know how to make a girl feel special," Theresa smiles, "I knew you loved me."

"You're like a kid," Kezia responds, "an overexcitable, needy child."

"Ahh well, you love me, I'm your close friend," Theresa jests.

"I regret every part of this conversation," Kezia grumbles, as Theresa squeezes her in an embrace.

-

"I need to use the ladies room," Theresa says, excusing herself from the game of cards the brothers and Kezia were playing.

"Bea, can we talk out back?" Theresa asks, going up to the bar.

Beatrice looks at her confused, before nodding, following Tess who was already behind the bar, going into the back rooms.

"What's this about?" Beatrice questions.

"Bea, you're driving her insane, you can't just make the comments about her moving on without speaking to her afterwards, she thinks it's a test, tell her directly that she can move on, that you won't be mad, she's holding onto hope, and that can be dangerous," Theresa states.

"I'll speak to her," Beatrice nods, "she shouldn't have hope, I've told her not to wait. Not to put her faith in me."

"I'm not saying how you feel or how you don't feel is invalid," Theresa states, "but it's irrelevant, unfortunately. I feel for you both, I do, Bea, don't think this is me being unsympathetic for your situation, and worries. I just, I hate to see her like this. I also think that you need to move on to, if you can't ever see yourself telling any woman that you love them, don't put yourself in a position where you might but just can't say it. It'll be just as hard on you, as it is on them. You both need closure."

"I'll talk to her," Beatrice says, "I want to see her happy, Tess, I do. I just don't think she'll be happy with me if she can't hear it."

"I know this is difficult for both of you, Bea," Tess acknowledges, "I know it won't be easy for you to see her trying to move on, just as it won't be easy for her to force herself to do so. But it's better that the string that still holds you together gets cut clean now. Sooner rather than later and you'll both hurt less."

"Why hasn't she come to me?" Bea asks.

"She's scared, you have the power to destroy this woman, Bea, please be gentle," Theresa states.

"I will." Bea promises.

"If you ever feel you need to talk, I'll listen, you're not alone in this either," Theresa replies.

"Thank you," Bea says, "I should get back to work, although my ears won't thank me for it. Why the fuck have they decided to start singing?"

"I believe that's your colleagues doing," Theresa responds. Beatrice can sense some bitterness in her tone, but the reason of why, confounded her. What did Tess have against Grace? It was evident there was disdain, but she couldn't think why.

They step out of the back room, just as someone enters the pub. He'd made quite an entrance, the patrons heads all swivelling to get a glance at him, before whispering in their little groups, as the man looks around the pub.

"Holy shit, it's Billy Kimber," Harry speaks.