am i the problem? ziggy katz x fem reader (On hold, coming back soon)

~9~

☆°•°i have to protect him, from himself°•°☆

Evelyn's pov

Ever since Ziggy is home, he's been in his room. Livestreaming and catching up with his 'fans' as he calls them. I miss the sweet young boy he used to be, i know he grew up, and i understand. He is a sensitive kid, he always used to be. I miss him, even tho he's still with us. I cant think about losing him, and i want to talk to him, i really do. But... i can't, i'm afraid i'll say something that could hurt his feelings. I want to know everything thats going on inside his little world, everything he wants to tell me, i'll listen.
He should've talked to me about his problems instead of causing himself harm, but on the other hand i should've stepped in, i could've been there to comfort him. I'd do anything to give him a hug, help him with his problems. I know i couldn't stop what happened but i can change what's about to happen, i should talk to him, tell him i'm sorry. I've missed him so much when he was in the hospital, i felt so guilty for not being there with him when he needed me the most. I got to talk with him.

I head upstairs to his room, the light isn't on so i can just knock on the door.
'Ziggy can we talk?' I say
'One sec mom, i gotta clean up a little. It's a fucking mess in here' he screams from the other side of the door
'Langauge!' I say sternly
'Oh shit sorry, yeah i'll stop, just wait a min' he says as response
'Are you done yet?' I ask impatiently
'Yeah, you can come in' he says
'Alright' i say before opening his room and heading inside
'Hey mom, what's up?' He asks
'I wanted to talk about something son' i say walking up to him
'Well, what is it?' He asks calmly
'Ziggy, i'm sorry. I've been such a bad mother to you lately. I apoligise for that, i now know what i've been doing wrong and i'm so sorry son' i say in tears
'So you realise, you finally realise after 2 fucking years!' He spat out in anger
'I'm so sorry son!, i should've realised this much sooner, but i had so much on my mind i just didn't know what to think, i truly am sorry. Do you forgive me?' I say with tears falling down my face
'I forgive you, and i know it was wrong of me to harm myself. I just couldn't help it, i didn't have control over my actions, i wasn't thinking straight and i shouldn't have done that, i'm sorry mom' he says with tears forming in his eyes
'why did you do it? You scared us all. You know i'm here if you need someone to talk to, open up to us please' i say
'I'm so sorry mom, i really am. I know i may not be the best son, and i'll try to change' he says
'Oh Ziggy, i love you so much. Don't change yourself, you're already good enough the way you are' i say
'You know, i've missed you aswell' he says with tears falling down his cheeks
'Oh come here, i love you son. Don't ever forget that' i say while pulling him into a hug
He just cried in my arms, i felt bad for him. I just hold him the whole time, and i think he apreciates that.
'I love you so much son, don't forget that alright. And if you even have something you want to talk about, i'm here' i say after we pull out of the hug
'Thanks mom' he says
'Ofcourse Ziggy, if you need me i'm downstairs' i say before walking out of his room
'Yeah sure' he answers
I quikly look back at him, he is playing his guitar with his eyes closed, he looks so innocent. I didn't think that he was capable of doing such awfull things to himself, it scares me. It hit me, my Ziggy tried to kill himself, what if i wasn't able to open that door? Then he would have died. I can't think of living life without him in it, he is my son, my own damn son tried to end his life. I shed a tear, i didn't want to think of in how much pain he must have been, i felt bad for him. What made him want to end it? What is going on inside him to think of doing such cruel things to himself?
I had to know, but for now i'll leave him like this. See how he does and adjusts to being back home.
Oh Ziggy, why did you do this?
That is the whole question, why did he do it?

☆°•°something inside his heart has died°•°☆

Green Day song reference, sorry i love green day so much.
Short chapter sorry. Next chapter will be bigger
See you soon
Byebye 👋
Wordcount 849

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