The Heat Exit

Chapter 4

Chapter 4


Ariana came home frustrated. Why in the world did she let him finish her? Why would she let Malcom inside her? She knew the replies. Time to punish yourself Ariana. She scolded herself. She paced across her room. Her left breast ached by the bites he had given her. She stopped in front of her dressing, pulling her shirt down, and there it was, the purple pink mark that was formed due to the forceful bites. Ariana's reflection brought all the memories of the office. How she had screamed in Malcom's mouth when he inserted his finger inside her. Damn him for having long nails! Her vaginal wall pained. She sensed herself bleed. But that was just a feeling.

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes. She started to stare right into her pupils. A bizarre feeling was overcoming her with the love of guilt. Her lips were quivering slightly. Hateful creature you are. The voice of her head. She felt herself heavy. She squealed. Bursting into tears she started banging her head on the closets. Hitting them hard with her fists. Pulling her hair and throwing her shoes off. Cursing herself, Ariana cried severely.

"Here. Don't leave without a treat" she could still here Malcom's voice as he had handed her the box of lavish chocolates. Were they really that worthy that she had to sacrifice her body? Soft, nurture and slim. She pounded her head again harder this time. She screamed in pain.

"Stop crying you slut!" She shouted in torment. "You're not meant to cry. You're meant to pleasure" she spoke through clenched teeth. She bit her lip hard to stop herself from crying. Waves of discomfort were flowing through her body. What pain was it? Physical? No. It was the ache that was running through her heart. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You had asked me not to let anyone near to these lips and look what I did!" She was in an uproar. Missing her lost love. What a cheat she was. She rubbed her lips with her hands rather harshly. Biting them. Chewing them. Arians lips started bleeding. Nausea seemed to swing through her. She touched her lips with her shaky fingers and felt the red liquid. She was out of control and crying. "I'm not a slut", she whispered to herself," I just had no choice." It was too late for that now. She was heartbroken for what she had to suffer in that room. She took a deep breath and got up. Her whole body trembled in pain. She hated beating herself, but once caught in passionate fire, what could stop a depressed girl?

She went inside her washroom and gave a long look at her appearance. Ariana was thankful there was no bruise mark due to that pounding. She did not want anyone to discover her little secret. She was great at role playing, turn herself into any character, any personality, this was also a reason she was liked by many, but deep down she knew she had no self-respect. And why was that so? Maybe because she knew what she was doing to herself? Ariana was giving a reason to her love for leaving her. A person who loved her truly left her without a trace, without a reason. Was it her ugly face? Her short height? Abrupt reaction to things? What was it? They were happy together. She could sense her self-burst into further tears. She took a small cotton ball and dabbed her bleeding lip. The blood dint stop. Ariana lay down on her bed hugging a pillow and lost herself into another flashback.

Her thoughts turned to a beautiful film as she thought about her past. So much love between two people. Laughing at every second of life. Feeling each other to the closest beat. Kissing until Ariana's lips dint turn blue. Teasing each other, taking pictures together, eating the most tasteless food and laughing at their stupidity. She could still feel him. Crawling up to him, moving his legs apart and lying down in between him, comforting her head on his chest. How beautiful they looked together, a perfect match. My canary, he used to say, and Ariana used to blush at him calling her that.

"Let's melt your lip," he used to say to her.

"Melt my lip?" Ariana had asked confused. They laughed together at this thought. He used to hold her lower lip between his lips and sucked them in. Arians lips were so soft they melted like chocolate in his mouth and she used to pursue him to do it again and again every night. She loved this gesture; it made her feel "specially soft". When her lip had started to bleed in his presence, a moment of sexuality had elevated between them two. Malcom had sexually threatened her and Ariana had beaten herself the same way she did today, but at that time he was there to protect and comfort her.

He pushed her hard against the closet. Her eyelids were swelled. Her lips bleeding. Ariana turned her face to the right as he came close to her. She could feel his breath against her cheeks. "You're such a strange girl Ariana", she looked at him curiously. "You're frightened, and yet you're blushing." He moved his finger across her lip, stroking it with the slightest touch. She let out warm breaths on his finger. She looked him in the eyes and gazed away. Their noses pressed together, breathing heavily in each other's mouth. His hands moved down between her legs and held softly. Ariana had let out several moans. He grabbed her lower lip, and furiously caressed it with the forward movement of his tongue. Ariana felt herself loose in his arms. Oh how badly she needed him and how desperately he was craving for her. She was in pain and he could not bear it. Sucking wildly at her lower lip, he could feel the salted taste of the blood, but he dint care, he grabbed her tongue at the tip sucking it deeply while his hands worked between her legs in fast movements. He raised her leg around his waist and picked her up. Kissing wildly and more passionately. The rain had thundered outside, and she was giving him her lips to feed and feel. He moved his tongue across her teeth and rubbed it lightly under her tongue. Ariana pulled on his hair and pushed forward to dig deeper in his mouth.

Ariana stopped thinking about that moment. She closed her eyes at these adorable memories. She was smiling to herself. A perfectly enchanting time she had spent with her love. But he was gone. What was true love anyway? She opened her side drawer and took out her diary. A silver glitter cover and silky pages. She looked at her diary admiringly. She took a pen and started writing.

15th May
I wrote my life's book for you
Every line was pure and true
You treated every word like trash
Now every sentence burns to ash
Your cruel way to ignore
Something never felt before
You and your modest lie
The less you care the more I try
Your proudness and your attitude
Reading this book against your gratitude
Don't be so harsh, it really hurts
This book is pride not a curse
Ariana-

The words came to her like a revelation. Her pen flowed as she wrote the poem. She was letting all her pain out on that white paper. She closed her diary and placed it back in her drawer and went in a deep sleep