A Page Of My Future

01| My Mess

              "Sh*t !"  I cursed, blaming myself for finally going to bed at 3:58am not minding the constant echoes of Miss klein's voice telling me that it was way past my bed time last night. The piercing sound of my alarm clock telling me that it was 6:30am, wasn't nearly enough reason for me to open my eyes..

     " Not now please, just gimme thirty
       minutes and I'll be up "

I whispered hoping my alarm clock would be nice enough to grant my request and shut the h*ll up but no, it didn't. You could call me crazy but at that point I hoped for anything. I hadn't slept well in days because I'd been too caught up trying to study hard for my exams.                       
           Somehow I'd managed to get into lots of fights at school and Miss klein had had enough of it. I'd overheard her discussion with my school principal the last time I got into an argument with one of my classmates who never got tired of picking on me .

      "Miss Klein we've talked about this
       several times and honestly we're
       all out of options. I still find it
       rather disturbing why a young girl
       like Martina could be so stricken with
       violence . If she were a guy It'd have
       been easier to manage but as it is ,
       it's the only option we have "

That was my principal speaking and honestly he was right.  All the times I'd gotten into heated arguments with people he'd always overlooked it and given me another chance to show him that I could change for good because for crying out loud I wasn't a boy. But I ended up giving him a huge surprise after saying the words   
              " I'm sorry"

Well that was the little I was able to hear . I left the window and headed for the music room.. which was where I always went whenever I found myself in a big mess.  I didn't dwell on it cos somehow the principal never refused the sincere pleas of my nanny.  When I  got home later that afternoon with Miss Klein she gave me a long stare and I expected to be yelled at and grounded afterwards. But what I heard miss Klein say frightened me . She said
       
      " I'm done giving you punishments
       and grounding you . You're not a kid
       anymore. Your constant issues  with
       Kids at school is taking a toll on your
       School work and if you don't have an
       excellent result at the end of the term,
       I won't hesitate to transfer you to ......."

She didn't need to complete her statement I knew what she was going to say. Everytime I had serious arguments with people at school She'd threatened to transfer me to Greyfields, knowing or rather hoping I'd change at all cost.
But the part of that day's threat that had me promising myself that I'd have a great result was that I sensed seriousness in Miss Klein's voice that evening. I knew I had pushed her too much and she was damn serious this time. If I didn't have an outstanding result, I'd be on the next bus to Greyfields college to do my senior year. ..... Then as if it'd stopped for a while, to let me go over how I ended up in this mess, it resumed it's piercing sound that yelled
     "Wake up"

I didn't want to but I had to. Stirring tiredly and with all reluctance, I got out of bed hitting the "shut up" button on top of my alarm clock.
I heard my phone buzz, with a reminder to have my short devotion before starting my day.
I didn't have the zeal or the time to read a verse and whisper some sincere words of prayer that morning so I ignored it an went straight into the bathroom to have my bath and get ready for school.
   
      Stepping into the dining room and stuffing my mouth with two slices of bread, I said goodbye, at least that's what I knew I said. To miss Klein it sounded like gibberish with crumbs of bread escaping as I said the word.
   
     " Do I need to tell you not to beat up
      any kids at school today ?"
  
Of course she didn't. She'd said it too many times but somehow I managed to mess things up and.. I never really beat anyone up.. I was always dragged away after the first or second hit, which always resulted in some sort of injury. Taking down a hot sip of coffee, I left.
      
   Stepping into the hallway, it was a regular day. People sticking their noses in textbooks while the big girls blushed in the arms of their  boyfriends not giving a sh*t about the ongoing exams. I spotted Janet, my best friend enjoying the arms of her lover around her thin waist. Her lips curled into a smile as he leaned forward planting a gentle kiss on her lips. I'm sorry for interrupting your...lovey scene but I'd like to borrow my best friend for a minute , I cut in as he was about to deepen the kiss.  He looked at me and smiled
   
  " You looked messed up Tina, did you
    wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

I smiled back at him casually, Daniel my best friend's boyfriend who was like an elder brother to me since the two started dating in 8th grade.

      " Well , I'm trying to make sure I
        have my grades in check so I  don't
        get kicked off to Greyfields . "

     " You'll be fine don't worry okay?
       I know how much you don't want to go
       to Greyfields. "
   
      "Which is why I need to borrow you "

I said apologetically to her and she nodded. He was nice enough to understand and let go of her so we could do a quick revision before we started chemistry exams.