The Confusing Diary of a Very Angry Meerab

Dear Diary, I hate Murtasim Khan

The small group of people assembled in Dr. Haider's office was all important in their own ways. Certain surnames commanded a great deal of authority and respect and others commanded huge bank balances. Yet in her office they were the friends and family of a patient and each face held the same expression of concern and hope. It made them more human than ever- And as she addressed them, she momentarily forgot that she was talking to the Khans and the Ahmeds.

The premonition of a coming storm was so strong that Anila fought the urge to cry. Waqas stifled a frustrated sigh as he thought of Meerab and how happy she was to see him. Unlike the last few meetings when she had been angry and hurt. He had heard of patients with head injury being confused and bewildered initially but did that include acting as though the last few months did not happen?

The room went completely silent. Anwar Khan leaned in and began:

"Dr. Haider what is going on?"

The doctor sighed.

"We have just talked to Meerab . She is in perfect health. Her brain scan reports show that the bleeding has almost stopped. The danger has passed- She is on her way to recovery."

The room exhaled a sigh of relief at that. He waited for them to digest the information and went on:

"However there's been a new symptom. Meerab's memories aren't what they should be. It's not uncommon for patients in accidents to have memory loss. There are three primary types of memory loss: anterograde amnesia, post-traumatic amnesia, and retrograde amnesia. The most common type of memory loss is anterograde amnesia. This type of amnesia can cause victims to lose all memories of events that occur in their lives following a car accident. Post-traumatic amnesia is a condition in which accident victims can't remember what happened immediately following a car accident. Finally, retrograde amnesia occurs when victims lose memories that were formed before a car accident."

He took a deep breath and said " In short due to the trauma to her head, her memory center has been affected. The events of last few months is lost to her. it's an interesting case of retrograde amnesia"

There was a resounding silence. Murtasim grasped the handle of his chair tightly. How would Meerab cope with this? How would she deal with knowing that the last few months had disappeared? The months with so many life altering events.. The last four months had changed everything for her- The life that Meerab had at the start of the year, was a distant reality..and he remembered the pain she had felt at her new identity, at the abandonment she had faced by the Ahmeds and how it had shaped her.

Jo mere saath hua hai, yeh uska reaction hai

And maybe, just maybe, this was a blessing in disguise for her.

" This doesn't make sense, doctor. How did she just lose a few months of memory?" Anwar Khan said.
The doctor took a deep breath.

"The way a human brain works is not easy to fathom. The conscious and the subconscious function in a very complicated manner. There are two possible avenues of explanation. There was physical trauma to her brain and it is possible that her amnesia is a consequence of her injury. It could also be strictly psychological- the subconscious suppressing the memories for self preservation.."

He didn't know how or what the patient might be suppressing. But he knew enough to know that each of the faces in front of him had guilt in their eyes

"It is not an uncommon phenomenon-The conscious often is manipulated by the sub-conscious and many people resort to suppressing painful memories and consciously remembering nothing of those memories. If something is too painful to remember the sub-conscious wipes it off the memory store."