Chapter 3
Conversations
A couple weeks later I got my stitches out and my concussion was gone. Dr. Kennedy told me to still be careful just in case. I went back to school - when my concussion was gone. Rose had been away grabbing the rest of their things from their old house, and Marco and Millie were sick, so no one was here. But she was supposed to be back in school today. I went to my normal classes with Mr. Butterfield and then there were a couple more before lunch. Rose joined me a few minutes later but sat at the table beside me. I decided I was going to try to talk to her first. I was nervous so I spent a few minutes thinking about what I would say.
- "Um..." I paused. "Hi" I whispered. She didn't look over or say anything. "Hi Rose" She looked over.
- "Oh, hi. How are you?"
- "Um, better than before. What about you?" I asked quietly.
- "Um, good, I'm all moved in."
- "That's good" My breathing was getting harder, but I forced myself to not run away or ask her to leave again. Then I said somehting unexpected that shocked me. "Do you want to sit with me?"
- "Oh, sure" Then she got up and walked over. "What's up?"
- "I just wanted to talk to you about what happened a few weeks ago." I stopped. Then continued "You can't tell anyone, only my dad knows."
- "Ok, I won't, I promise." She was looking at me like she was waiting for me to continue. So I did.
- "Ok, so what happened was I had a panic attack because you were talking to me, and I get bad anxiety when people talk to me." I surprised myself. I'd never said that to anyone before except for my dad. I was still forcing myself not to run.
Everything was quiet for a minute. My hands were pulling on my clothes, but I pushed through it. I was about to say something else, but she beat me to it.
- "Wow, um, ya I totally get it. My older brother gets panic attacks too, so when I started seeing you get the same symptoms, I assumed that's what it was."
I was surprised. So she knew what was happening and she had an older brother.
- "So what happened? Like why you started getting them?"
- "Well, this is the part no one knows. Not even my best friends." I stopped, scared to continue. "Well...my mom died when I was 12" I stopped, hoping no one else heard that.
I was fighting back the tears. The only thing I heard was my breathing and the other kids' chatter.
- "Oh." She paused "I'm so sorry. So, no one knows that but your dad, not even the teachers or the principal?"
I shook my head no. I was afraid to talk, thinking I would give a waterfall of tears and embarrass myself. The bell saved me. We went back to class and at the end of the day I got on the bus. I was looking out the window when I saw Rose enter the bus. I looked up to the front and she was walking onto the bus. I waved and she came and sat beside me.
- "Hi," I began, "I didn't know you rode on this bus."
- "Um, I don't normally, but my dad started his job today, so he can't drive me anymore."
- "Oh, ok."
I didn't know what to say next. I was hoping that I could get her number or something, I just didn't know how to ask her. After we got dropped off, I went inside. Dad wasn't home yet, he got home around 4:00 p.m.
