Chapter 5
Doppelganger!
We were planning to stay in Houston until Friday – that would give us 4 days – and leaving Saturday. The flight back was overnight so we would arrive back in California on Sunday morning. Tuesday morning, after we woke up at lunchtime and got ready, we went to see an art museum. It was too late to go to the coffee shop, so we just got it at the hotel. At the museum, we saw paintings by famous artists from the 1900s - such as Frida Kahlo, and Francis Bacon – and pottery. We went to the grocery store after and grabbed a few things for dinner. Dad didn't want to spend money on dinner when we have food at home – funny, huh? 14 hours later, we were up and ready to go. We stopped by the coffee shop around 9:30 a.m. We went and placed our order. We sat down and waited. Dad was talking about how fun this was and how glad he was that I brought him down. After a couple of minutes, our order came.
- "I remember when mom used to go on trips with us. I miss her a lot" Dad held my hands.
- "She's always here – in your heart."
- "I know, you know what I mean."
- "I miss her too." I squeezed dad's hands. He looked up and down and grinned, then he looked back at my face. My expression changed completely. I'd been smiling a minute ago, but now all the color was gone on my face. My knuckles were white as I clutched his hands. I felt like I was going to faint.
- "Cal? Are you ok?" Dad asked, concerned. I didn't respond. I was totally zoned out, but my face had pure terror on it.
- "Cal, honey?" I was looking over Dad's shoulder, so he looked behind him. All he could see was a waiter and customers. He tried to concentrate to see something. That's when the waiter faced us. He looked at us with a confused face. I thought it was my imagination until I realized that dad knew him.
He turned back around to face me and spoke again.
- "Ok, we need to leave, now."
I was alarmed by the fearful tone in Dad's voice, but I complied. We both stood up and left. Dad took my hand and pulled me away from the coffee shop. I soon realized Dad was leading us to the car. I looked behind me and saw the waiter looking at us. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. We had to keep moving and get away from the shop. My mind was full of questions. Who was he? Why does he look exactly like me? Is he a relative?
Once we reached the car, I got into the driver's seat and got onto the road. We sped down the highway and further away from the strange waiter. Dad glanced over at me. I was clutching onto the wheel, with my knuckled whiter than in the Cafe. I was staring ahead, not taking my eyes off the road. I kept blinking fast and my shallow breaths filled the air. Dad could tell I was tense and anxious. He leaned towards me and put a hand on my shaky leg. I became a bit calmer, but I didn't take my hands off the wheel.
- "Do you want me to drive?" I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the road. Dad, still not convinced I was well enough to drive, said...
- "Ok, how about you pull over, and I'll explain to you?" I took my eyes off the road and looked at Dad, my face still full of terror.
- "Ok" was all I said. I indicated a right and pulled onto the side of the road. I turned the car off. I put my hands on my lap and looked at the floor.
- "Dad, w-who was that? I asked
I asked, trying to get Dad to talk. I glanced at his hand, which was still on my leg, and Dad whispered.
- "That–that was your... twin brother." he said. My eyes widened in shock, but I tried to keep a calm face. Dad looked at me and could see the panic in my eyes, so he reached over and squeezed my hand.
- "Did you know he was going to be there?" I asked, trying to understand what just happened. Dad shook his head.
- "No, but I k-knew he l-lived here." So that's why he looked at me when I told him I wanted to go to Houston. He knew. He knew I had a brother. Panic arose in me, although I didn't know why.
- "Did you see the way he looked at us? It was like he k-knew we were going t-to be th-there. Have y-you kept in touch w-with him? Did you t-tell him? He l-looked at us for a s-second as if he knew me m-my whole l-life. Why is he n-not l-living with us?" I kept going with the questions and kept stuttering. My breathing became shallow, and I began to panic.
Dad, recognizing I was having a panic attack, put his hand on my chest, pushing it in and out with each breath.
- "Calvin, it's ok, you're safe. Deep breaths." I tried to breathe, but instead, it resulted in a fit of coughs. My chest felt so tight as if it was folding in on itself and tying into knots. The lack of oxygen made the pain in my chest worst. The dizziness fogged my eyesight. It felt like I was dying.
- "Dad, I can't get it to stop!" My voice rose in terror, as the pain kept getting worse. I'd normally be able to stop it eventually, but I couldn't. I'd never been in this much terror. Tears were in my eyes, but I blinked to get rid of them.
- "Hey, hey, it's ok, just try to breathe. It'll stop, trust me, I know it will. I need you to breathe with me. You're not alone. Take a deep breath and release. I'll do it too."
Dad kept his hand on my chest and inhaled deeply, encouraging me to do the same. We both breathed and released and continued this. It took a little while to get coordinated, but Dad's reassurance, combined with our breathing in sync, helped calm my heart rate. Although the pain was still there, I was much calmer than before.
- "Calvin, honey, are you all right?"
- "Yeah, I think so. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened."
- "No need for saying sorry, it's ok. Do you want me to drive?" I nodded, and my fingers slowly opened from being in a fist.
- "Ok." I opened the door slowly, to make sure no cars were coming. Dad and I got out and he hugged me.
- "It's going to be ok; you'll be fine." he whispered in my ear. Then we switched sides and drove off.
I was tired after, so Dad and I decided to head back to the hotel, and we could go do whatever we were planning to do when I felt better. I immediately fell asleep when we got back and woke up a few hours later. It was around noon, so we left to go to another museum.
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The next morning, I woke up in a jolt, I'd had another nightmare. I got out of bed slowly, to not wake Dad up. My vision went blurry when I got up, so I stood still. I wanted to go back to the Cafe to meet the brother that I never knew existed for 17 years. Eventually, I walked to the bathroom. The door squeaks whenever you shut it, so I shut it very fast. It still squeaked so I paused to make sure Dad was still snoring. He didn't want to go to the Cafe anymore, in case we seen him again. I don't understand why, he is my brother and Dad's son. I quickly got changed and grabbed the keys to the car and hotel. I walked out the door trying not to make a noise. Dad was still snoring. I took the stairs – I didn't feel like getting stuck in the elevator without anyone. We were only on the 3rd floor, so it wasn't much of a walk. I arrived outside and looked at the road. I was very nervous and shaky, but I pushed through it and started walking. It was only a few minutes away, but I arrived at the Cafe after what felt like ages. I still had to wait 15 minutes before they opened, so I did. I waited for people to come in, but no one did, so I went in first.
- "Hi Cameron, you're early. No one is here yet, but you can help set up the tables." I looked around. No one was there but me.
- "Cameron? Are you all right?" I looked back, he must have been talking about me. That must be my brother's name.
- "Oh, uh, hi. My name is Calvin, I'm looking for Cameron though, I think." The waiter took a step back and stared at me. He picked up his phone and dialed a number. I was hoping it wasn't the police or security.
- "C-Cameron, uh, there's someone here looking for you. They said their name is Calvin." Then he stopped. "Ok, thank you, bye." Then he put the phone down. "He s-said he's on his way. Who are you?"
- "I think I'm his brother."
- "Well, you look like him, that's for sure. He's never mentioned anything about his brother though."
- "I don't think he knows he has a brother. If he does, I don't think he's ever met him." I hoped that Dad kept in touch and told him about me. I was just mad that he never told me.
- "Oh, ok."
I smiled and sat down at a table. About 5 minutes passed and I thought that Dad was probably worried about me. I was wondering if I should text him and let him know where I was. I went to grab my phone, but it wasn't there. I put my head in my hands. I must have left it on the nightstand! I was in such a rush to leave I forgot about it. I heard the door open. I heard a chair scrape, and someone sitting in it.
- "Hi, you must be Calvin." I looked up. There he was - my identical twin.
- "Um, hi. Yes, t-that's me. You must be Cameron." He smiled. He was looking at me like he was inspecting me or something.
- "Wow, uh sorry, you look so much like me. It's like we're twins or something." I was surprised he said that. Did he not know he had a brother? Did Dad not keep in touch with him?
- "Erm, I think we are." He looked at me. "I guess Dad didn't keep in touch with you."
- "What do you mean, Dad? He died a while ago." I felt like I couldn't breathe. It reminded me of the dream when Mom told me that he died before I was born. Was I really that crazy? Have I been dreaming this whole time? Is Dad dead? Questions were flowing through my mind so much that I didn't even realize that Cameron was talking to me.
- "Calvin, are you ok?" I looked up.
- "Huh? Oh yeah, uh, sorry. What was Dad's name?"
- "Miguel Chavez." The name sounded Mexican. We weren't Mexican. Maybe he was adopted. I wasn't sure. "And Mom's name is Rosalita. What about you?" Rosalita reminded me of Rose. I hadn't texted her since we got here.
- "Uh, My Dad's name is Rowan Lewis and Mom was Mary Elizabeth." I still hated talking about Mom.
- "I used to know someone named Mary Elizabeth, but she died back in 2019. Do they know you're here?" Mom also died in 2019, could we be talking about the same person?
- "Erm, not really... they don't. I snuck out because Dad didn't really want to go through the same thing that happened last time. And then I left my phone at the hotel, so I can't text him." I had just realized I didn't have bad anxiety around him. I guess he was my brother.
- "Is your mom at home? You just don't seem to be talking about her." I was not ready to bring her death up yet.
- "Erm...ya, she just wasn't able to come." It still wasn't a lie, she is in the town where we live, it just wasn't possible for her to come. I grabbed a Kleenex and wiped my nose. "Sorry, allergies."
- "Oh, it's okay. Maybe I'll meet her one day. I can't believe we're brothers. When I saw you that one day, I assumed maybe we were, but I wasn't sure."
- "You saw me?" I hope he didn't see me staring at him awkwardly or having a panic attack.
- "Ya, I mean, it was kind of obvious. You were staring at me and then just ran away." So, he did see me acting all weird. Cameron was looking at his watch a lot.
- "Everything ok? You're looking at your watch every 2 minutes."
- "Uh, yeah, I just-" He got cut off by his coworker.
- "Cameron, time to go to work, you're going to be late, and we have customers." Cameron looked back at me.
- "Sorry, gotta go. Here take this and text me. My shift is over at 3." He handed me his card and left.
I waved goodbye and walked out. It was pouring outside. I waited a couple minutes for it to calm down, but it didn't. I put on my hoodie and started walking. Within a minute or so, my hoodie was drenched, and I was shivering. 'Just a couple more minutes' I told myself. I finally arrived at the hotel. After arriving at the room, I realized how worried dad must've been. I walked in.
- "Dad? Dad, are you here?" No answer.
I walked into where the beds were. There was no one home. The keys to the car were gone and so was his phone. My phone was lying on the bed. I grabbed it and called him. It rang for a few seconds before going to voicemail. I called it a few more times – nothing. I was starting to get worried. I kept overthinking about how I should not have left, brought my phone, left a note, or just done something different. I sat down on the bed and looked at my phone. I tried texting Dad and calling him, but he didn't answer. I put my ringer on in case he called, and I started crying. I knew I shouldn't have left him. After a few seconds, I started sobbing. I heard a knock on the door, but I didn't look up. A little while later, someone spoke.
- "Cleaning. Anyone here?" I finally looked up. I wiped my tears and got up. I grabbed my phone and wallet and opened the door.
- "Come on in." I walked to the stairs.
I went outside and started walking. I just kept walking until I arrived at the coffee shop. I walked inside and sat down. I looked at my phone and called again. It didn't even ring. It just went straight to voicemail.
- "Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Rowan Lewis. Leave a message at the beep. Thank you." The voicemail beeped, so I left a message.
- "Hey Dad," I paused. "It's Calvin, uhm, I'm okay, I'm at the coffee shop. I'm worried about you. You weren't at the hotel, and you haven't been returning my calls. Please call me back when you get this. Thank you. I love you and I'm sorry for leaving without telling you." I hung up.
I kept looking at my phone just in case Dad called.
- "Hi, again, can I get you anything?" I looked up.
- "Oh, hi Cameron. No, I'm good. But thank you."
- "Everything ok? You seem stressed."
- "Ya, all good." I lied.
- "Ok, let me know if you want something later." I gave him a thumbs up and smiled.
I decided to call Rose. It had been a while. She picked up right away.
- "Hey Cal, what's up?"
- "Hey, not much, just at a coffee shop. I miss you and I can't wait to come home Saturday." I was hoping Dad would be back by then.
- "I miss you too and can't wait to see you."
There was a long pause.
- "Anyway, uh, I just wanted to see how you were doing.
- "I'm doing good. I should go. We're just about to go somewhere."
- "Oh, ok, bye. I love you."
- "Bye Cal. I love you too."
I tried calling Dad repeatedly. The last time it rang a few times. Then someone picked up.
- "Dad! Where are you?"
- "Calvin? I've been looking all over for you. Where are you? You we're gone when I woke up, but your phone was still at the hotel."
- I may of went to the Cafe. I just wanted to meet my brother. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."
- "Oh, son, it's okay. I'm glad you're safe. But please don't ever do that ever again without letting someone know."
- "I won't, I'm sorry."
- "Ok, I'm coming to get you. You're still there?"
- "Ya, thank you." I was glad he picked up.
After a few minutes I heard the door open, and Dad walked in. I stood up and ran to him. I hugged him and he hugged me back. I could tell he was relieved to know I was safe. We left and I waved at Cameron. He waved back and we drove away.
- "Dad?"
- "Yeah?"
- "Why doesn't he live with us?"
- "Who? Your brother?"
- "Ya."
- "I'll explain later, ok?"
After we got back to the hotel, we walked into the room that had been newly cleaned and sat down on the beds. Dad took a deep breath before speaking.
- "So, when we found out your mother was pregnant, we thought it was just one baby. We didn't have a lot of money, so when we found out it was twins, we knew we couldn't support two children, so we had to put one up for adoption."
- "Why did you pick him and not me?"
- "I don't know son, we just did."
- "Have you kept in touch with him? Or his parents?"
- "Not really, I have talked to them a few times, but not regularly. That's how I knew he lived here."
- "I assumed you did."
There was another long pause.
- "Could he maybe come over before we leave?" Dad looked at me and didn't say anything.
- "Maybe son, maybe, we'll see."
