The Unwanted Bride

3 - Rainbow

Rewritten on 16/09/2023
Chapter 3 - Rainbow

Khushi's POV:

I've always been a fan of sports. Hockey used to be one of my favourite sports. It's different that I never played for a team but I always imagined I would play it one day, not necessarily for a team but myself. I was allowed to dream. Was. I was allowed to dream at one point. Not anymore. I'm too old for that—I'm too grown up for that. It feels hypocritical to tell others to "chase your dream" and "we only live once" or "You can do this". But how is it that I feel so guilty, so exceptionally guilty to apply it to myself?

Because you're human, Khushi.

Am I, though? I feel no less than a corpse hanging in a pair of new clothes every day for work. Life feels like a play. The only difference is that it doesn't seem to end. The characters don't seem to come in front of the stage and bow down and leave. There aren't any applauds in my life too. From Rohan and Neha? Yes. Myself? I break into a smile. "When really was the last time, I looked in the mirror and appreciated myself?"

I remember what my law professor told me when I was a first-year student: don't respond to something you don't know the answer to. "It's better to keep quiet than utter nullity." Slowly but steadily, everything he said makes sense to me now.

My eyes drift to the unfamiliar ocean that I don't see very often in my city and remember that Goa is all about water activities. This trip is a break—it's about loosening up as Rohan puts it. You've earned it. I'm not so sure about that but I can give it a try.

As I looked around the beach, my eyes landed on a group of people playing volleyball. I stare at the weather, almost begging it to encourage me to join them. I'm not exactly an extravert, but nor do I like the idea of being an introvert. Being an introvert—or being recognised as one—almost makes me feel low. Not physically but mentally. As if someone's looking down at me. I'm more than that. I've worked hard to be perceived as more than that.

You've earned it. I needed Rohan's voice and that was it. I took a deep breath in and walked over to the group of young individuals. I could not let my lack of confidence hold me back, especially when I did so much to come here. I had to take a chance.

I walked closer to the group, a bit hesitant at first. Another big gulp of breath and I finally gathering the courage to approach them and speak.

"Hi," even I can sense the hesitance in my voice. It's too late to go back. So I add subtly, "this game looks fun." You're doing well. It's okay. Keep speaking.

Yes. "Mind if I join you guys?" I asked, trying to sound casual despite my nervousness.

One of the guys responded rather rudely, saying I could play but should join the girls' team instead. What is he trying to imply?

It had to be a sexist comment, what else could it mean? It irked me. This unknown man just underestimated me? Me. He doesn't even know me.

I retorted, "what do you mean girls team?"

He seemed unfazed by my questions as if my upset and angry posture had no effect on him. "I'm assuming you're a lady, hence, join the women team?" There's this awful lift—the corner of his lips and his eyebrows arch as his eyes glint with mockery. He's mocking me.

I'm usually always calm. Calm and composed, mother Khushi, as Neha puts it. She'd be impressed that this man is capable of irritating me.

As if cue, someone interrupted and greeted me, completely ignoring the rude young man. "I'm Harsh," he extends his hand for a shake. I stare at it. My lips part and I look up at him. It's just a handshake. I smile and slowly extend my hand, shaking his. He grins kindly, a warm sparkle twinkling in his eyes. "And what my elder brother, Yug—" he nods towards the rude man, "—was trying to say was, if you've noticed, we're doing a girls vs boys game." When recognition dawns in and I look embarrassed and guilty, Harsh quickly adds "It's great you've joined. The women's team had one less player."