Looking Through the Cracks

Chapter 16: Life Support

Ivy's head swam as she tried to focus on the passing nighttime. Like a bad phone signal, Ivy's attention wavered in and out. Although she could hear B calling the cops, Ivy didn't fight to stop him. She was unfortunately more preoccupied with her five drinks from the night. Ivy was learning the age-old lesson of drinking on an empty stomach. As nausea swelled within her, Ivy focused on her breathing.

Just as Ivy thought she might have to beg B to pull over, the car lurched to a stop. Heaving the door open, Ivy flung her head outside before vomiting beside the car. Her stomach, consisting of coffee and mixed drinks, expelled bile that burned Ivy's throat. She gained the slightest bit of relief when B's cool hands gathered her hair behind her head. As Ivy continued to purge the alcohol from her body, he began to rub comforting circles on her back.

"It's okay, Ivy. Get it all out. I know it sucks, but you'll feel a lot better after."

When Ivy's painful heaving ceased, she became intensely aware of B touching her. Although she knew it was best to keep B at a distance, she couldn't ignore the way her body felt drawn to his. Maybe that was why she waited before disengaging from B's touch. However, those feelings were quickly washed away when the events of the night came rushing back to Ivy. She had felt this same attraction to Elijah, and look how that turned out. You were asking for it. And if you keep it up, you're going to be asking for B to do the same to you. Immediately, Ivy jerked away from B. Bombarded by sensations from her attack, Ivy numbly stared into her lap.

Several minutes of silence passed before B finally spoke.  "Come inside when you're ready. I'll leave the house unlocked, and you can stay in the same room as last time."

The car door had barely shut behind B before Ivy was racked with tears.

    It wasn't until daybreak that Ivy ran out of tears. As she lay curled up in the car she felt her head throb with pain. Her face had been constricted in misery for so long it hurt for her to release the tension. She could feel a wave of fatigue engulfing her mind and decided she might as well sleep in a bed if there was one waiting for her. Lethargically she poured out of the car and made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She was grateful for the quick release of sleep when her head hit the pillow.

***

    Ivy felt like she had just fallen asleep when she heard a light tapping on the door. She roughly rubbed the sleep from her eyes and grumbled as the morning sunlight aggravated her dormant headache. Again, she heard the obnoxious tapping on the door and grunted "Come in" as she pulled her pillow over her eyes.

    A few seconds passed before Ivy heard the door cautiously open. She didn't need to remove her pillow to know that it was B who was at the door. When he sat at the foot of her bed a fresh wave of lavender and cedarwood wafted towards her. Ivy heard a distant rattling, followed by B saying "I got you some painkillers for your head." Grateful for the relief, Ivy whipped her head up from under the pillow, only to be overwhelmed with nausea and dizziness.

    "Woah, Ivy! Not so fast. You don't want to make your hangover any worse." B shook out some pills for Ivy, and handed them over, along with a glass of water.

    Ivy took a deep breath to try and steady her head and threw back the pills and water. She didn't realize how thirsty she was until the whole glass was empty, and her mouth still felt dry. Things had grown quiet in the room while Ivy stared at the glass, and she was reminded of B's presence when he began to awkwardly adjust his position on the bed. Quickly, she pulled herself back together and cleared her throat before saying, "Thanks."

    "No problem," said B as he looked down at his hands. "I figured you would need it after drinking last night."

    Again the events of last night came rushing back to Ivy. The party. The drinking. Elijah. She could feel the misery of last night swarming her all over again. Her eyes prickled with the urge to cry, but no tears came. As she lay in bed in front of B she began to feel very exposed, and pulled her knees, and the blanket, up to her chest.  All Ivy wanted to do was go back to sleep, and forget all about last night. It made her skin crawl just to think about how Elijah's hands had touched her, and she felt as though she could never wash away that feeling. She tried to not think about it, but every time she closed her eyes, images flashed against her eyelids. No matter what she did she couldn't escape the pain. Her choice was to either suffer from the sunlight or suffer from the pain Elijah caused her.