𝑐𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑗𝑢 | 𝑠𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔

☕︎ - 5

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🧋🍂☕️🌻☕️🍂🧋

- 𝔽𝕀𝕍𝔼 -

𝕔𝕠𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕖 𝕞𝕦𝕘𝕤

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• the day of (october 7th) •

hongjoong felt conflicted, head scrambled and racking every inch of his brain for any ounce of inspiration he could get. it really was starting to take a toll on them, hours spent each day hauled up in his makeshift studio, eyes glued to his notebook or the computer screen scrambling to make another sample or demo. of course it wasn't required- his job didn't demand of him as much as he gave; but anytime they weren't working the front of the store with mingi (talking to customers, sorting the cds and records and albums, etc.), they locked themself up in the recording studio- trying to make a break for themself.

their head was hurting, eyes were sore, his stomach felt tight; hadn't eaten since early morning and it had already been hitting four o'clock- mingi had checked up on him earlier but at some point hongjoong stopped answering his phone so he could focus better on his work. they found themselves feeling sleepy, clouded and drained. he'd never been this lost without inspiration for so long. it was annoying, and had the boy huffing and rolling their eyes every couple of minutes.

"fucking ridiculous." he mumbled, hand running through his white hair, the urge to tug at it strong but instead he let out a shaky breath, stress being used to bounce his leg up and down instead.

the page was filled with meaningless words, lines scratched out, circled and x'd out over and over, a mess of scribbles over his paper- he felt a shudder through his body; eyes glossing over. he felt so stressed, a pressure in his head making it throb painfully, he shut his eyes, trying his best to calm himself down.

it wasn't often that hongjoong cried, he tried his best not to let his stress get the best of him, to not overload his emotions but he couldn't help but always keep them bottled up tight; he truly was a bomb waiting to explode.

and here he was, pin being plucked from the grenade. the tears started to fall.

"shit, shit, shit." he whispered, feeling his chest go tighter, he reached desperately for his phone, fumbling to call san quickly. he didn't want to feel so anxious, to crumble so quickly but everything was piling up and he didn't know what to do anymore, they couldn't calm down.

"s-sannie." he sniffled, when their friend answered after the first ring (san always answered as quickly as he could),

"joongie? what's wrong?" the other said quickly, voice high in concern.

"i'm- c-can you talk?" he asked, pulling his knees up to their chest as they tried to take deep breaths, facing away from their desk.

"yea, yea, where are you?"

"home," they lied, swallowing thickly- he knew san would get too worried if he told it he was at the studio again- today was a day off from work for hongjoong, the others hated how the workaholic in the producer forced him there anyways.

"do you need me to come over? talk to me joongie,"

"no! n-no i just- p-please just distract me. i need a distraction. not so grounded right now." they said, desperate-

"of course joong, i got you..." san continued to talk as hongjoong had asked, the older simply listened as the time passed, tears slowly stopping and their mind clearing up. he listened and shut his eyes, waiting- he listened to san.

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after hongjoong assured san he was okay for the millionth time, he ended the call- embarrassed beyond comprehension over what had happened; he really didn't like crying in front of others.

they looked down at their notebook with a long sigh- standing up and grabbing their things; he slipped into his coat, tying a thin scarf around his neck and slipping on a pair of mittens before leaving the little room.

"goodbye mr.lee!"

he called out to the store owner, to which the man looked up from his desk in the back, "finally leaving hongjoong?"

"got too hungry to stay any longer," he chuckled, which was partially a lie and partially the truth.

"have a good night then," the man waved him off, and hongjoong felt confused, weaving between the shelves to the front door, night?

he stepped outside of to the beat music, eyes widening to see the sun starting to set in the sky, what was once blue now an orange and red color, painting against the clouds.

had i really stayed for that long?

it had felt like only a few hours to hongjoong, though deep down he knew he stayed much longer than he intended; san had stayed on the phone with him for quite a while, until he was sure hongjoong would be okay to leave alone; they smiled at the memory of sans stubbornness from just a bit ago.

the pavement outside had been covered in thin layer of white, flakes falling softly from the sky and onto his clothing, blending into their hair. hongjoong was quick to slip a mask on over his face, pulling out their phone to check for any missed texts; a few from mingi which he answered hastily, apologizing for disappearing on him.

hongjoong felt his stomach rumble a bit just then, the act of skipping his meals today taking a toll on him finally now, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and looked around desperately for somewhere to eat, eyes scanning the street around him before he started walking. it was important though, to look for what he craved;

he had wanted coffee.

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just a heads up the next chapter will take place the same day just seconds after where the prologue ended (i hope that makes sense)

so just imagine that right after this is what happened in the prologue and then after that is the chapter that'll be published after this one!

uhm uhm anyways i'm so unbelievably busy w school stuff it's so unfair like i'm getting so drained my eyes hurt so much from how stressed and tired this year is making me i can't wait for this school year to end

oh and thank u for all the love and support on this story already wtf

~ lix ~

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